Always
by Bookworm1025
Summary: Basically just a series of one shots from a more ideal school career of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, and then some. Ideal in the sense that Lily and Sev live happily ever after. It'll just be a whole bunch of random, just saying. Snily, of course!
1. Amortentia

**A/N: Okay, basically this is the first of a bunch of random, disconnected blurbies about Lily and Severus, only it's far more ideal (in the sense that James Potter drowns in a lake or something and Lily and Sev live happily ever after.) Hope you enjoy!**

"Sev! Sev, I need to show you something!" a familiar voice called, eager and excited. Severus turned and saw Lily pelting up the corridor toward him, beaming, her dark red hair flowing behind her. It was hard to hold back a smile.

"Problem?" Severus asked once Lily had reached him, putting on a vaguely amused expression.

"Oh shut up, Sev, you need to see what I made… I've been trying for weeks and I only just got it!" Lily said, breathless. Severus already had a pretty good idea what Lily was talking about, but followed her nevertheless.

They were in the middle of their fifth year; a dreary mix of rain and snow lashed against the stained-glass windows, making the mood inside the castle less than cheery. But nothing could dampen Lily Evans's attitude – except, perhaps, the ever-arrogant James Potter. The weather didn't whisk away her smile, or the sparkle in her green eyes, or the musical tinkle of her laughter. It was one of the many things Severus loved about Lily – optimistic, cheerful, kind Lily.

"Come on, come on!" Lily laughed as they descended a tightly winding staircase. Excitement was bubbling up inside her; for ages she had tried to make this potion, ever since Professor Slughorn suggested she try it. It wasn't until this morning she had managed, and the second she realized she had done it she had run for the person that would appreciate it the most.

Well, maybe not right that second. After all, the potion's unusual effects were enough to stall anyone.

Deeper and deeper into the castle they went, until Lily led him through a passage pretending to be a wall and they emerged into the Potions corridor in the dungeons. Severus smiled – this was where he felt at home, in the dungeons with Lily.

Lily ran ahead to the classroom Professor Slughorn always let her practice in. Severus ran after her, and the second he stepped in the room he got a face full of bliss. A flowery scent, like lavender but sweeter… of a forest with nearby water… the smell of gravel and rust, of the tiny playground in his hometown… they were the smells of Lily, and instantly he knew what she had made.

"Amortentia," Severus breathed, still inhaling the scent greedily. Lily beamed and nodded, her red locks bouncing.

"It took ages, but I got up this morning and thought to myself, _this is the day, Lily,_ and came right down here… and as soon as I was done I came right to you!" she said proudly.

For a moment the two of them stared down into the gently simmering cauldron, the smell of Lily swathing Severus and making him a little light-headed. "What do you smell?" Lily asked quietly.

Severus hesitated. "Lavender… and water lilies," he said after a moment, hoping desperately that Lily would catch the hint. "And home, the park where we first met," he added, though as soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted it. He eyed her apprehensively, waiting on her reply. Lily was looking at him with those almond-shaped eyes, the ones he loved so much. "What… what do you…?" Severus asked tentatively.

Lily's lips actually formed the word _you, _and already the rest of the words were swelling inside her, she was ready to burst and tell Sev everything… and then the classroom door opened and Professor Slughorn walked in.

"I say, I thought I smelled whiskey!" he said, chortling. Lily snapped her mouth shut, turning red, and Severus's face grey stony. "Miss Evans, I see you've finally succeeded in making Amortentia!" he boomed, looking happily from the cauldron to Lily. "And a year below grade level too… twenty points to Gryffindor, I'd say!"

Lily smiled bashfully. "Thank-you, Professor," she said, though in reality she wanted nothing more than for Slughorn to leave. With a sideways glance at Severus, she added, "But I really don't think I could have done it without Sev, he helped."

"Oho!" Slughorn said, turning to Severus. The boy's black eyes flicked to Lily, questioning. Slughorn clapped Severus on the shoulder. "Fine job to both of you then! Ten points to our own Slytherin then, eh Severus?" he said in his loud voice.

"Uh, Professor, have you marked those moonstone essays yet?" Severus said quickly. "Only, I'm not sure if I did any good, see, what with all this work for our OWLs."

"Oho!" Slughorn said again. "You're right, dear boy, I should be getting on with those… though I doubt either of you have anything to worry about, you're my best students!" With an affectionate pat on the shoulder for each of them, Slughorn lumbered across the classroom and into his office.

Lily and Severus were silent for a moment. Severus was burning to ask Lily again, he was aching to know what she smelled, but he knew it would be tactless to push her. "D'you want to go to the library or -"

"You," Lily blurted.

There was silence, except for the soft burbling of the potion between them. Severus's heart was doing stunning acrobatics in his chest, but his face betrayed no emotion but shock. Lily had turned crimson, staring determinedly at the floor and biting her lip the way she always did when she was nervous or embarrassed.

"Library," Lily said after an eternity, her voice choked. She turned towards the door but suddenly Severus's arm shot out, grabbing hers, pulling her across the table. Lily leaned over and through the cloud of Severus's scent, while Severus leaned forwards through a cloud of Lily, and they met in the middle.

A rush of triumph coursed through Severus. In Lily there was only shock – overjoyed, ecstatic shock. They came apart for a moment, their faces still close together and engulfed in each other's scent. Severus's black eyes locked onto Lily's green ones, and a small smile spread across both faces. Lily leaned forwards and pressed her lips to Sev's again, fireworks exploding and dancing inside her.

The door to Slughorn's office opened and the man waddled out, clutching both the "O" grade papers of Lily and Severus. He paused in the doorway and stared at the teenagers for a moment, neither of whom took any notice of him. Then, smiling to himself, he backed up into his office again and closed the door silently.


	2. What should have happened

**A/N: See, this is what should have happened, honestly.**

…"Take the curse off him then!" Lily said shrilly, seeing red. James looked helplessly from her to Severus, and then muttered the counter-curse with a heavy sigh.

"There you go," he said as Severus struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus… "

"Shut up, Potter, you horrible arrogant prat!" Lily screeched, and Severus snapped his mouth shut, swallowing back his words. The redhead was advancing on James like a mountain lion, red sparks shooting from the tip of her wand. James stumbled back, looking frightened. "Severus didn't need my help – or, he wouldn't if you weren't on his case all the time! He's a far better person than you are… messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK."

James had fallen to the grass and Lily was pointing her wand at his throat. The other three Marauders were watching like the rest of the crowd, wide-eyed but immobile. James looked nothing short of terrified. Severus couldn't blame him – if anyone, especially Lily Evans, looked at him with that much cold fury and hatred in their face, he would shy away too.

Probably.

Lily's arm jerked as though she were going to jinx James, who flinched. "Lily no!" Severus called, and suddenly all eyes were on him. "As much as I'd love seeing you turn Potter into a toad or something, it's not worth you getting detention," he mumbled. Lily looked at him and the fire in her eyes died away. Carefully, Severus went up to her and took her hand. "Come on, let's leave these idiots alone…" he said quietly, and Lily exhaled loudly. She turned around and glared at James, who was half-sitting and watching what was going on with confused shock.

"Stay away from us, Potter," Lily said, her tone icy and her gaze poison-tipped. "You and your little friends, just leave us alone or I _will_ hex you." She turned on her heel and let Severus lead her away from the group, who were now whispering intently. James was flushing furiously.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said again, but he was smiling faintly as he turned back to look out at the lake.

Once they were away from the Marauders, Severus had fully expected Lily to drop his hand, but she kept it. They wandered aimlessly down to the lake shore and meandered along it, Lily keeping her warm hand in Severus's. Severus cast a sideways glance at Lily, who was looking out across the lake with a carefree smile. With a guilty jolt, he realized what he had almost said in his fury, what he had almost called the only girl he loved.

"Severus! Hey, Snape!" a voice called, and a number of others joined in. Both of them looked up the hill towards the castle, and instinctively dropped each other's hands. A number of Severus's Slytherin friends were loping down the hill towards him, including Mulciber and Avery. Beside him, Severus could almost sense Lily stiffening; she hated every one of his friends.

"Hey, Sev… what're you doing with the Mudblood?" Avery demanded, earning a round of laughter from the other boys.

"Don't call her that," Severus said harshly, stopping the boys in their tracks. For the first time he saw them through Lily's eyes, saw how evil they really were, and he despised them. Despised himself, for ever being one of them.

"Touch-ey," Avery said, smirking cruelly. His eyes danced between Severus and Lily, and it was obvious he had seen them before they saw him. "Don't tell me you're in love with that, Sev!" he said disbelievingly, and there was a general murmur of shock from the boys.

"Oh, go suck a bezoar, Avery," Lily snapped. Avery's eyes narrowed to slits.

"How dare you talk to me, you filthy little Mudblood?" he hissed. Severus moved for his wand but Lily was faster; seconds later Avery was reeling backwards, his hand clapped over his bloody nose and his black eye. Lily's hand was still curled into a tight fist and her jaw was taught.

"I'm done dealing with James Potter's bullshit and I'm not taking yours either!" she snarled. "Now go!"

"She's a madwoman!" Mulciber cried, but Avery was already scrabbling back up the hill, the other boys hot on his heels. Lily was breathing through her nose like an angry bull. Severus stared at her, his face showing plain bewilderment.

"I'm sorry, Sev, I know they're your friends, but I couldn't… I can't take anyone's crap anymore, I'm sick of it," Lily said after she fought to get her breathing back to normal. Severus just stared at her a little while longer.

"I love you," he said softly. Lily smiled weakly at him.

"They had that coming… just make sure you get real friends next time, Sev, I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got into the Dark Arts as much as they had," she said. Severus's heart fell a little; she hadn't understood.

"Lily," he said as she turned to continue along the bank. She looked back, her red hair shining copper in the sunlight. Severus swallowed, searching for his voice. Lily smiled kindly and reached back, taking his hand.

"I know," she said, her voice soft and caring. She squeezed his hand and pulled him towards her, kissing him on the cheek before following the lake shore northward, towing a punch-drunk Severus behind her.


	3. First day of school

**A/N: Now, THIS might turn into something bigger... not sure.**

"… now, off to bed!" Professor Dumbledore called. All at once, the students moved in a crushing swarm towards the doors.

"First years! First years, follow me!" a voice was calling. Lily looked around and saw a prefect striding through the hoard, a number of nervous-looking eleven-year-olds tailing him. She joined them as they battled through the clog of black cloaks at the door and across the hall.

"Lily!" another voice yelled, but it was familiar. Lily turned and caught sight of Severus, being swept away to a different part of the castle by the Slytherins.

"Sev…!" she called, but then he was gone.

Lily stood outside of the dormitory door for a moment, staring at the wood. She had no idea what to expect; until a very short while ago she was sure she would always have Severus. Now she was completely alone, the only people she knew were the boys from the train.

_As if I'll ever be friends with them, _she thought bitterly, and pushed the door open.

Four of the five beds were already taken; a young girl sat on each of them, talking and laughing. One looked up at the sound of the door opening. "You're Lily, right? Lily Evans?" she asked. She had short black hair and a round, friendly face. Lily nodded. "Here, take this bed… d'you mind?" the girl asked, pointing to the bed between her and the window. Lily shook her head, still silent, and dropped down onto the bed. Her trunk was already there.

Three of the girls continued talking, but the one with black hair turned to Lily. "I'm Alice Prewett," she said. Lily smiled.

"Are you… d'you have Muggle parents?" Lily asked hopefully. Alice shook her head.

"No, both my parents are magic, are yours?"

"No, they're Muggles," she said, feeling a little put-out.

"That's alright, it doesn't make a difference," Alice said comfortingly, though Lily couldn't help but remember Sev telling her the same thing and wishing she was in the Slytherin common room with him. "How do you like it so far? The Wizarding world, I mean."

Lily grinned despite herself. "It's… well, it's magical," she said, at a loss for words. Alice laughed.

"You guys, hey," she said, getting the attention of the others. "This is Lily Evans. Lily, there's Marlene McKinnon –" Alice pointed to a girl with long, curly blonde hair, "Emmeline Vance -" a girl with dark brown hair and sharp features, " and Dorcas Meadowes," who had rather lank, black hair and a long nose. All three greeted Lily with broad smiles, and she and Alice joined in their conversation.

After a while there was a sharp rap on the door. "Sorry girls, lights out!" the prefect called, and there was a great shuffling and rustling as the girls got under their covers. Once the room had fallen dark, the girls continued to whisper, but Lily stared up at the ceiling, silent.

_What's Sev doing right now? _She wondered. _Does he miss me as much as I miss him? _With a sigh, Lily rolled over and went to sleep.

In the dungeons, all the boys had gone right up to their dormitory. Severus stayed put, on the couch in front of the fireplace. Older students milled about, but most of the Slytherins were already in bed, full and content after the dinner.

It was a little disorientating, Severus thought, having the firelight glow on one side of your face and the eerie greenish underwater glow on the other half. He blinked his black eyes and instinctively turned to tell Lily this – but the couch beside him was empty. Grief settled on him like a lead blanket.

"Damn that hat," he said under his breath, curling his hands into fists and glaring at the crackling embers.

"You said something?" a cool voice said. Severus glanced up and saw the prefect he had sat next to at dinner, Lucius Malfoy. He smiled thinly at the first-year.

"No, I… no." Severus said heavily. "I'm going to bed," he said, standing up with a considerable amount of effort. Lucius nodded slowly, his blonde hair bright in the otherwise-dark common room.

"That's a good idea, Severus," he said quietly. "Class starts tomorrow, wouldn't want to be late on your very first day." Severus cast a fearful glance at the prefect and then turned towards the boys dormitory, feeling Lucius's cold grey eyes on his back all the way.


	4. Studying

"No, Sev… you're thinking of Ragnuk the Terrible. It was Granuck the Horrible leading that battle," Lily explained patiently. Severus frowned at his History of Magic textbook for a moment longer before sighing and slamming it shut.

It was April. At long last the weather was turning nice again, but even though the skies were blue and sunny the grounds were still slushy and wet. Lily had devoted most of her time to holing up in the library, studying furiously for her OWLs, and because Severus was devoted to Lily he ended up there too.

"Honestly, I don't care if I pass this OWL," he said, leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. Lily smirked.

"Well I do, now quiz me!" she said, opening the textbook again to a random page. Severus sighed again but smiled at his friend.

"How many times did Wendelin the Weird -"

"Forty-seven!" Lily interrupted, beaming. Severus tapped his hooked nose and flipped through the pages.

"Lord Stoddart Withers -"

"He bred flying horses! He tried to make a version of Quidditch played on flying horses, but it never caught on."

Severus stared incredulously at Lily for a moment before closing the book with a satisfying thud. "You know everything already, you don't need to study!" he exclaimed.

"Must be nice, not having to worry about passing or failing," Lily said offhandedly, sliding the textbook towards her. Anyone else would have mistaken it for a jibe, but Severus knew better and couldn't miss the sparkle of a smile in her eyes.

Lily hunched over the textbook and began to read, her green eyes darting back and forth over the tiny print. Severus watched her, wondering how on earth she could absorb all the dates and names he found so boring.

"Hey, it's Snivellus!" a voice yelled eagerly. Somewhere from withen the bookshelves, Madame Pince made a sharp "shh!"-ing sound, but already footsteps were running their way. Severus sat up straight and saw two boys loping towards them. Lily looked up as well, and she grimaced.

_Potter and Black… why can't they just leave us alone?_

"Hey, Evans," James said, messing up his hair absently. Lily ignored him. Sirius was grinning maliciously at Severus, who stared coldly right back.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Evans to go on a date with me," James said automatically.

"A slab of Honeydukes chocolate would be nice," Sirius mused. "Then, so would your head mounted above the fireplace."

"Bit greasy though," James pointed out, talking as though Severus wasn't even there. Sirius made a noise of agreement, and then both their serious faces broke back into wolfish grins.

Severus set his jaw and felt his hand twitching towards his wand. Lily was faster, and she was instantly out of her chair, her wand pressing on James's throat. Both boys fell silent, their faces frozen in fear.

"You're _despicable,_" Lily hissed, but before she could do much more Madame Pince came rushing out from the shelves, her face severe.

"There will be no dueling in the library!" she snarled. "All of you, out!" She waved her wand and all four fifth-years found themselves shooed out of the library by an invisible force. The doors swung shut behind them.

After a moment, James stepped forwards. "Aw, come on, Evans, just one date and I'll leave you and Snivellus alone forever. There's a Hogsmeade trip next weekend – _owch!_" Lily stepped on his foot with all the force she could muster. James bounced around on one foot, swearing, and Lily grabbed Severus's arm.

"Come on, Sev," she said, throwing James a poisoned glare, and the two of them strode away, Severus smirking triumphantly.


	5. Knight in Shining Armor

_**A/N: Let me just say right now that I don't not like James. I mean, he's all right, but you have to admit he's a real jackass sometimes. This particular blurb-thing shows James's jackass side in full light, so I figured I might as well let you know, sorry, and I don't think James was this big of a prick all the time. Maybe he was drunk or something, I don't know, this just came out of nowhere and suddenly I was writing it, so I was like OH WELL!**_

_**But yeah, back to our story.**_

"I'm done, d'you want to go work on McGonagall's essay?" Alice suggested.

"Al, it's Friday, the essay isn't due 'til Tuesday!" Lily complained.

"What happened to the ever-studious Lily Evans, huh?" Alice laughed. "Come on, if we finish it tonight it won't be looming over our heads all weekend."

"That… and we'll have time to do the other three essays we've been assigned," Lily agreed, rolling her eyes.

"NEWT year is a bitch, that's why they call 'em NEWTs," Alice reminded her. The girls got up from their dinner and began to leave the great hall.

"Hey, Evans!" a too-familiar voice called. Lily looked around and saw James Potter half-standing, waving at her.

"It's those damn Marauders," Lily hissed. "_Run!_" Alice was already speed-walking towards the staircases, Lily hot on her heels. As they thudded up the steps, they could easily hear James behind them.

The staircase they were running up lurched into movement. Alice jumped at the last second onto the fifth-floor landing, but Lily wasn't so lucky. "Go ahead, there's a shortcut up this corridor," Lily called, and after a moment Alice continued upstairs.

Lily ran down the new corridor, the flagstones making her footsteps echo. At least she had lost James – but then, a tapestry up ahead fluttered and James Potter stepped out from a passage into the corridor, grinning triumphantly.

"Come on, Evans, like you know this place better than I do," he said. Lily stopped short and gave him a look that could kill.

"Move, I've got a lot of homework and Alice is waiting for me," she said, her jaw tight.

"Homework, shmomework, its Friday night and tomorrow's Hogsmeade," James reminded her, still with his cocky grin in place. "Friday nights are supposed to be fun."

"I would sooner call a three-foot essay on Gamp's Law more fun than anything you could think up," Lily said coolly.

"Oh really?" For a moment, James almost looked insulted and angry, but he was quick to regain his composure. "Hey, Evans, Hogsmeade is tomorrow," he said again, "how about you let good ol' Prongs take you on a date?"

"In your dreams," Lily snarled. James grinned.

"Exactly." He paused, and after enduring a moment of Lily glaring at him with her arms crossed, he tried again. "Fine, if you won't go on a date with me, how about you kiss me?"

"I'd sooner kiss the giant squid!" Lily said shrilly.

"Aw, gimmie a break, Evans, one kiss," James pleaded.

Lily was done with him. She turned on her heel, headed back to the main staircases, but James grabbed her arm and she jerked to a stop. Without warning she found herself against the stone wall, James pinning her there by her arms. "One kiss, Evans," he said quietly.

Why was she just standing there? Why wasn't she fighting back? All she knew was fear and shock as she stared at James, whose face was a little too close for comfort… he was hurting her wrists now, and his breath was foul…

Out of nowhere, a black blur bowled James over. Sitting with one knee jabbed into James's stomach, Severus Snape pulled back his arm and punched James in the face as hard as he could.

James bellowed like an angry bull, blood spurting from his nose. He wriggled out from under Severus, who delivered another punch to James's jaw before he scrambled to his feet and tore down the corridor.

"Sev!" Lily exclaimed, very near to tears as her brain caught up with what had happened. Severus, who had been breathing heavily and looking beyond furious, turned to Lily, his face melting into an expression of surprise and happiness.

"You called me Sev," he pointed out. "You haven't called me Sev since fifth -"

He never finished his sentence. Lily rushed forwards, dropped to her knees on the stone floor and flung her arms around Severus's neck, kissing him passionately. Severus did the only thing that made sense – he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back just as intensely.

When Lily finally pulled away, she took one look at Severus and burst into loud, heavy sobs. Severus pulled her into a tight hug, still trying to make sense of what Lily had just done.

Then again, he wasn't complaining.

After a while – which Severus also spent praying that Peeves wouldn't show up – Lily's sobs subsided and she leaned back a little, her green eyes searching Severus's face. "I'm so sorry, Sev," she said quietly. Severus looked bewildered.

"_You're_ sorry? What on earth have you got to be sorry for? I'm the one who should be apologizing."

Lily smiled, just a little bit, and sniffed. "I'm sorry for not forgiving you… and for not doing that earlier, to be honest."

Severus tried to make her words register in his head. "But you've got a boyfriend…" he said stupidly. Lily scoffed.

"What, Potter? Fat chance… and even if he was dating me, d'you really think I'd keep him around over what just happened?" she added, her voice much more subdued.

Severus felt his blood boiling. "I want to tear him to shreds for it," he said, almost shaking with fury. Lily smiled, and when he saw the familiar smile he loved so much he relaxed. A little.

"My knight in shining armor," she said softly, deciding not to point out that James really didn't do anything. _He could have, _a voice nagged, but she ignored it. She sat back on her heels. "There's a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, d'you want to meet me in the great hall and we'll go to the Three Broomsticks or something?"

"Yeah, of course," Severus said automatically. Lily hesitated a moment, and then kissed him again, this time more gently.

"I have to go, I promised Alice I'd work on our essays with her," Lily said apologetically. She started to stand, but Severus caught her sleeve and she paused.

"You… you know I love you?" he said thickly, stumbling a little over his words. Lily beamed and turned a slight shade of pink.

"Is the sky blue, Sev?" she said kindly. "But for what it's worth, I think I love you too."

Severus watched her go and stayed where he was a long time after that. It wasn't until he heard Peeves's tell-tale cackle that he got to his feet and started back to the Slytherin common room, a bounce in his step that hadn't been there for two long years.


	6. Christmas

**A/N: Sorry this took a while, I've been trying a few different ways to make it work and only just got it the other night (conveniently the same night I became one in a million Pottermore betas!) and I've been tweaking since then. So yeah.**

"Merry Christmas, Miss Evans," a smiling voice said. Lily whirled around and broke into a broad grin before remembering who she was looking at.

Severus Snape.

He looked the same way he had two years ago, if not worse – his black hair hung lank to his shoulders, and his robes seemed looser; he had lost weight. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, smiling hopefully and holding a single red rose.

"Come on, Al, I've lost my appetite," Lily said, throwing a look of utmost contempt at Severus, whose face crumpled.

Lily turned to go back up to the Gryffindor common room, but Alice Prewett grabbed her arm. "Aw, come on Lils… it's Christmastime," she said, casting the downtrodden Severus a pitying glance. He was slinking back into the Great Hall, looking thoroughly depressed.

Lily and Alice had a quick, tense conversation with their eyes – Lily's green eyes pleading and reluctant, Alice's brown ones commanding and insistent. Finally, Lily sighed and went running down the stone steps.

"Severus? Sev…erus Snape!" Lily called, unable to use her old friend's nickname. The pale boy turned before reaching the already-crowded Great Hall. When he saw Lily he smiled again, relief flooding his features.

"What did you want, Severus?" Lily demanded, her tone sharp. Severus didn't shy away from her icy glare; on the contrary he stepped forwards and presented her with the rose, which he had stripped of its sharp thorns.

"I only sought to wish you a happy Christmas," he said calmly, though he remained smiling. Lily sniffed the flower uncertainly, but after a moment she smiled despite herself. It evaporated as Severus spoke again – "and, admittedly, to beg your forgiveness once again."

"You can forget it," Lily said coolly. When she saw Severus's crestfallen face, she softened a little. "Look, Severus, I'm sorry, but what you said…" her voice dropped so that only he could hear, "it hurt, and it hurt so bad Severus – not just what you called me, but knowing I had lost your friendship – that I cried for days. Weeks really, as long as nobody could hear me.

"And it was just… this constant ache in my stomach and my heart, and it was agonizing to think that I had forever lost the boy I -" Lily reddened and stopped talking, though her green eyes were swimming with tears.

Severus's heart had caught in his throat. His imagination was running wild, finishing her sentence… but that couldn't have been what she meant to say. Sighing heavily, he wiped away one of Lily's tears with his thumb. She looked up at him, and suddenly he remembered how much he loved those eyes.

"That night," Severus said quietly, mustering his courage, "After it happened, we were talking outside your common room and you asked what made you any different."

Dully, Lily realized that she had stopped breathing.

"And what makes you different," Severus continued, now speaking in a low whisper, "is that…"

"Evans!" a voice yelled, sounding almost outraged. Severus's heart dropped like a stone – James Potter was sauntering down the steps, staring at the two of them with clear shock and disgust. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing with Snivellus?" James demanded.

"Aren't two friends allowed to wish each other a happy Christmas?" Lily said, her tone icy. James looked as surprised as Severus felt – had she really just said _friends?_

"Lily, he called you a -" James trailed off, pressing his lips together and looking from Severus to Lily.

"That was two years ago, Potter. Severus apologized, and…" Lily looked back at Severus for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Forgive and forget."

All four Marauders, Severus and anyone watching the scene looked absolutely floored. "There is no way in hell you forgive that git, Lily," James said forcefully. "He… he called you a you-know-what, and he's slinking off to join the Death Eaters as soon as he can… You can't go throw your life away by getting involved in that… you can't… I won't let you…"

"Won't _let me?"_ Lily said shrilly, and Severus was reminded of her saying the same thing to her two years ago. He wasn't surprised when James skittered back a few steps, and Sirius had to catch him and push him forwards again. "James Potter, don't you think for a second that just because we went out twice you get full control over me!" The full force of Lily's rage exploded like a small bomb. "I'll do what I like, and if you think you have any say in it then you're one-hundred-percent wrong! You don't know Severus the way I do, and just because you're too shallow to actually try to get to know him…" Lily trailed off, at a loss for words. Everyone in the Entrance Hall looked terrified.

"Go eat breakfast with your little friends, before I hex you," she snarled after a moment. The Marauders didn't hesitate in scrambling down the steps, past Lily and Severus and into the Great Hall. The crowd watching had dispersed, leaving just Lily, Severus and Alice, who was watching from the top of the stairs.

Severus could still see fire crackling in Lily's eyes, but as they searched his face they grew teary again. His hand twitched. He wanted to hug her, to hold her hand, to touch her shoulder… but Lily would never let him. "You… you said… do you really forgive…?" he asked, his words sounding far more choked and choppy than he had expected.

Lily concentrated hard on the floor. "I want to. Really, really badly. But Potter had a point… you want to be a Death Eater, and I can't get involved in that kind of thing."

Severus almost laughed in relief, but made his voice soft when he spoke. "Ever since our OWLs, I cut myself off from that world altogether. I did everything I could think of to make you forgive me. I dropped the Death Eaters, even though I know they'll probably get me back for it in the end."

Lily looked up at him, surprise showing in all her features. For the first time since she was fifteen, Lily felt a rush of affection towards the boy in front of her. "For me? Why?" she asked. She was burning to know what made her different as well, but a part of her knew the answers were the same.

Severus paused, looking around. The last thing he wanted was to be interrupted. "Because I had to get you back. Because I've been in love with you since the day we met, and beca – umph."

Lily threw herself at Severus and hugged him fiercely. She found herself crying again, harder than ever. "Sev, Sev, I think I love you too!" she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder. Severus hugged her back, staring wide-eyed at the wall behind her, bewildered. Underneath the resounding joy at something as small as her calling her 'Sev' again – never mind the fact that she had just confessed her love to him – there was a kernel of doubt.

"Aren't you dating Potter?" he asked, hating to jeopardize a glorious future already coming together in his head. Lily laughed once, bitterly, still hugging Severus with her face in his robes.

"I was, but we fought last night… and I'm pretty sure I just broke up with him, considering that's how he thinks he can treat me…" Lily leaned back a little, just enough so she could see Severus's face. His expression was nothing short of elated. After a moment, his black eyes flicked upwards and his face grew puzzled. Lily looked up and saw a clump of mistletoe hovering in midair a few feet above them.

"_Just kiss already!_" Lily turned around, laughing, and Alice came running down the steps towards them.

"Shut up," Lily said, still grinning. "Sev, you remember Al, right?"

Severus half-smiled. "Who could forget the ever-obnoxious Alice Prewett?"

Alice beamed, ignoring the false insult. Lily stepped back and Alice pulled a very surprised Severus into a quick hug. "I always knew you guys were going to end up together, and I always believed Lily when she insisted to us that you were a good guy at heart," Alice said sincerely. Severus's smile was very nearly a grin – something he hadn't done ever since his OWLs.

Alice grinned at both of them. "I'll be sitting up with Kendra if you need me…" she said airily, drifting away. Severus and Lily stared at each other for a little while longer, both looking a little embarrassed.

"Now what?" Severus asked.

"I doubt you'll be eating with those Death Eater blokes and you can't eat alone at Christmas," Lily said, "come eat with me and Alice and Kendra – you'll like her, don't worry."

"I don't care, as long as I'm with you," Severus said honestly, and Lily went as red as her hair.

"I've missed you, Sev," she said, smiling a tiny smile.

"So have I," he said, hesitating a fraction of a second before kissing her hair.

"Severus Snape, you're such a damn tease," Lily muttered, her smile more pronounced now, and she stood up on her toes – Severus really had gotten taller – and kissed him full on the mouth. It didn't last long, but both were pleasantly flustered when they broke apart. Lily stayed on her toes with her arms around Severus's neck, and Severus hugged her close. They looked at each other for what felt like a small eternity, but was really only a few minutes.

Severus's stomach growled. "Food?" Lily suggested.

"Food," Severus agreed, and they strode into the Great Hall hand in hand.


	7. Hogwarts Express

_**A/N: Okay. Just apologizing in advance, this is a long one, I couldn't really figure out how to end it and eventually I just let it drop off :$ And it's not... I dunno, it feels a little off to me. I haven't really written anything like this, and it feels odd but in a good way. I like it alright, anyway, so I hope you guys do too! Also, I found I rather like writing from Lily's POV... I might do some more like this, if you guys don't hate it. In fact, I might actually expand on this one, something spanning their whole seventh year (and beyond?)... WHATEVER.**_

_**But anyway, enjoy! **_

_Welcome to an alternate universe where Severus kept his mouth shut._

_September 1__st__ – Seventh Year_

The first thing I heard when I ran through the barrier at King's Cross Station was a very familiar voice calling my name. Leaving her luggage cart for mum, I threw herself into the arms of my best friend.

"I've missed you so much!" Severus half-yelled into my hair. I laughed joyously.

"Well so have I! I came by your place yesterday as soon as we got back, but no-one was home…"

"No, mum and I went into Diagon Alley for last-minute stuff and dad hasn't been around much lately." Severus tightened his hug for a moment before releasing me. I didn't go far. "How was France?"

"You don't want to hear about France," I said, flapping my hand as though I was waving the subject away.

"You know what I do want, right?" Severus said, smiling slyly. I felt my heart kick into top gear. I beamed and flung my arms around his neck, standing on my toes to reach him…

"Hey, it's Evans! Lil – oh…" I turned at the last second, and I could feel Severus's lips brushing on my cheek before he turned to look as well. James Potter was standing awkwardly a little way along the platform, and the other three Marauders stood behind him. I bit my lip at the sight of them, feeling slightly disappointed.

"Were we interrupting?" Remus asked quietly. I smirked at my friend.

"Of course you were," I said brightly. I let my arms slide from Severus's shoulders, giving him an apologetic look, before nodding the boys over.

"Hey Lily… Severus," James said, forcing the last word. I looked over at Severus, whose black eyes were cold. I willed him to remember his promise to me. _Be civil_, I begged, _just this once…_

"How was your summer… James?" Severus asked, clearly fighting not to sneer.

"Better than last," he said briskly. I tried not to feel too guilty. Of course, the summer after our fifth year had to have been hard on him, considering that was the year I had impulsively snogged Severus in front of most of the school, including James. It was no secret that he fancied me, and I couldn't help but feel almost sorry for him.

"Lily, you can catch up with your friends later! It's five to; you have to get on the train!" I glanced over my shoulder and saw my mother standing with my luggage, who was trying to look stern but was clearly amused.

"I'll help," Severus offered quickly. "My stuff is already in a compartment." I took his hand and led him over to mum.

"Mum, you remember Sev, right?" I said. Mum nodded and looked Severus up and down.

"You've grown," she commented. Severus looked a little confused, and attempted to heave my massive school trunk into his arms.

"I'll go put this with my stuff, you say good-bye to your mum," he said, struggling with the weight.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sev, I can -" I started, but before I could grab one end of the trunk, my best girl friend Alice Prewett was there, grinning at us both.

"I'll help Sev with this," she offered, taking one end of the trunk. Severus shifted his grip so he held the other. The two of them headed towards the train, stooped with the weight of the trunk, and I found myself pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"Mum, Easter break isn't that much further than Christmas!" I protested, laughing and trying to breathe.

"I know, dear, but this is the first time you're staying at school for Christmas…" Mum said, letting me go.

"And it's also my last chance to ever do so, don't make me feel bad," I reminded her, pulling a backpack on one shoulder and picking up my owl's cage. "I'll write as often as I can."

Mum studied me for a moment before the train's whistle rang out. "Come here," she said, pulling me into one more hug. "And you be careful around that Severus boy!"

"Mum!" I laughed, trying to smother my embarrassment, and after one last glance I turned and ran onto the train. The corridor was full of students hanging out the windows and calling out last-minute goodbyes. I picked my way through the crowd, right to the very last carriage where I knew my friends would be waiting. Sure enough, there was Severus sitting by the window – the only one in the compartment, even though Alice's trunk was saving her a seat next to those of Mary MacDonald and Remus Lupin.

I slid the door open and stepped inside. Severus smiled at me when I entered, tucking away his book. I knew exactly what he was thinking. "They've gone to call their goodbyes out the window. I'd say we have five minutes," he said, nodding towards the trunks of our missing friends.

"I'll take what I can get," I said, beaming, and perched in Severus's lap. I had left for our annual holiday the day after I got back from my sixth year, and had gone the entire summer without Severus. It was the longest we'd ever been apart – and it was ten times worse considering he was now Sev the boyfriend, and not just the best friend. I was almost aching to snog him again.

Severus pulled me close and kissed me softly. A familiar ripple of happiness ran up my spine at the smell of him and I pressed my lips more firmly against his, hugging him around the neck. He pressed one hand into the small of my back and tangled the other in my hair. I couldn't help the soft moan I gave, and his lips curled into a smile under mine.

The kiss was far too short for my liking. After about a minute Severus pulled away, though I continued to kiss his cheek and jaw. "We're being watched," he said quietly, and I knew he was fighting not to smile.

"Shit," I growled. It wasn't until then that I realized I was straddling his lap, my arms pinned between his back and the seat, and that he had his hands resting on my suddenly bare waist. I gave him one more kiss before rolling off into my seat and tugging down the bottom of my shirt, trying to make myself look remotely presentable. Remus, Alice and Mary were all standing at the door, clearly trying very hard not to laugh.

The three of them tumbled into the compartment. "Get a room," Alice said, who was failing the most at not laughing. I stuck her tongue out at her, but turned crimson all the same.

"In case you didn't notice, we had one until the three of you barged in," Severus said coolly, though I could hear amusement in his voice. Remus, however, didn't catch it.

"No, we can go… James probably wants me in his carriage with the others anyway…" he offered, half-standing.

"Don't be ridiculous, sit," I ordered. "We're fine, really." It was a lie and everyone seemed to know it.

"No… I did promise James that I'd ride with them. Last September trip and all." Remus got to his feet.

"Party pooper," Alice teased. Mary practically leapt to her feet.

"Can I come too?" she asked eagerly.

"Always room for one more," Remus said, but from his tone it was clear that he was a little taken aback by her sudden change of attitude. Remus grinned at us all before leaving; Mary hot on his heels.

"What was that about?" Alice asked, looking after her. "You don't think she fancies Remus, do you?"

I gave her a bewildered look. "No, she's fancied James since fifth year!" I cried, and Alice's eyes widened. "Probably longer, but she waited until after she knew me and him wouldn't work out to tell anyone!"

"Anyone being you," Alice said, pretending to sound put-out. I smirked. Alice looked at the two of us reproachfully; we were both still sitting very close together. "You guys can go ahead and snog, I suppose, just -" Alice didn't even finish her sentence before my lips found Severus's and he responded with twice as much enthusiasm.

I could tell that Alice was somewhere between being uncomfortable and bursting into a fit of giggles, so I very reluctantly pulled away from Severus – but only enough so that our lips no longer touched. "I love you," I whispered, so only he could hear. Severus kissed me once more, as intensely as he could, before allowing me to pull away completely. He hadn't spoken, but I could see in his eyes that he loved me just as much.

Alice brightened instantly. "So how was France?" she demanded, and I launched into a tale about our family visiting almost every tourist trap in Paris and staying with a group of Beauxbatons graduates for a day or two. Beside me, Severus pulled out a book and began pretending to read, though I could feel his eyes on me almost the entire time. Every now and again during my story my eyes would flick over to him. I could read him like a book, and I knew he wanted nothing more than a moment alone.

"I'll be right back," Severus said suddenly, glancing at me once before leaving the compartment. I tried to think of an excuse to go after him, but Alice gave me a withering look.

"Go on, I'll be here," she said, jerking her head after Sev. "You could have just said something though." I smiled gratefully at her before stepping out into the hall. I was pretty sure I knew where Sev had gone.

I rapped twice on the door to the washroom. "Sev?" I called, crossing my fingers that it wouldn't be another student. In response, the door opened and a hand pulled me in by my hand. I went with a giggle, and I pushed the door shut as Severus pinned me against it, kissing me furiously.

"We _are _affectionate today, aren't we?" I murmured, trying to stay standing as Severus kissed the hollow of my neck. My knees were suddenly jell-o, and it was a bit of a relief when Sev wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me up and close.

"I'm just making up for the last two months," he replied, his voice husky.

"Well then _kiss _me!" I exclaimed, my voice almost a moan. Sev brought his lips to mine again, and for a little while we stayed that way. If it weren't for Sev pressing me against the door, I would have fallen over long ago. Even so, we were swaying on the spot.

There was a smart knock on the door. "Anyone in there?" a voice called. Sev swore under his breath and pulled away. I stifled a sound of protest but glanced at myself over his shoulder in the mirror. Hastily, I smoothed my dark red hair and pulled at my shirt to fix it. Severus bit back a smile and pulled the door open. We both ran past a startled-looking fourth year, Sev towing me along by my hand.

"My god, what were you doing?" Alice demanded as we re-entered the compartment. Apparently we hadn't done a very good job of making ourselves look normal again. All it took were Alice's words to send both Sev and I over the edge, and we collapsed onto our seat, laughing loudly.

After a little while Mary came marching back into the compartment, her face shining. "Guess who's going on the first Hogsmeade trip with one James Potter?" announced, sitting beside Alice. We both squealed, and I could sense Severus relaxing beside me. Alice and Mary babbled on about Hogsmeade and how Frank Longbottom was going to meet with Alice at the Three Broomsticks.

I put my head on Sev's shoulder and he hugged me around the waist. "I officially have no more competition," he said quietly, sounding cheerful.

"You never had any," I said just as softly, but I was smiling a little.

"… meanwhile, these two were off shagging in the loo…"

"We were not!" I cried, my voice sounding strangled as I sat bolt upright. Severus chuckled beside me, and the girls were both grinning.

The train chugged on and as the sky began to darken we shooed Sev out of the compartment to change into our robes.

"Lily Evans, you shameless slag!" Mary exclaimed. For half a second I was insulted before realizing that she was joking. With some difficulty, I eyed the bright red mark developing on my neck. "McGonagall is gonna be pissed," Mary said. At least she could control herself; Alice was cackling like a madwoman.

"You're one to talk, Prewett," I growled, pulling my grey sweater over my head. "You came tottering back to the common room at half past one in the morning, the picture of bliss after you and Frank… anyway, I don't think I need to remind you of the little talk with McGonagall last year, do I?"

Alice turned pink and stopped laughing. "Talk? More like scream-fest. They heard her at Durmstrang, I swear…"

I pulled the collar of my shirt higher and sincerely hoped someone else in our dormitory would know some kind of cover-up charm. Merlin knows it wouldn't be the first time it's been used…

"Better?" I asked.

"Yeah, but you'll probably have half a dozen more by the time we reach Hogsmeade, Snape can't keep his hands off you, can he?" Mary said.

"His name is Sev," I said a little sharply. Most Gryffindors – including Mary – didn't think too highly of Sev because of his dark past. Remus and Alice knew different, and it was because of them that the others tried to get along with Sev. "And you're just jealous because you wish Potter would snog you senseless every chance he got."

Mary grew quiet and sullen after that. We had always been on-and-off friends, and it looked like for the moment we were off.

When Sev rejoined us, he looked slightly put-out. The reason was obvious – right behind him was Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and – much to Mary's delight – James Potter. Sev sat between Remus and I, clearly trying to put as much distance as possible between me and James at the other end. "I'm sorry, Remus wanted to visit and they just insisted on coming…" Sev whispered to me.

"It's alright, just… ignore them," I hissed.

"Hey Evans! Nice hickey!" James said loudly, and he and Sirius roared with laughter. I was crimson in a heartbeat, and Sev was already reaching for his wand. I dove across him and grabbed his hand.

"Don't, they aren't worth it!" I told him.

"Yes, they are, they don't just get to –" Sev trailed off, his face twisted in rage, trying to jerk his hands away from mine and get to his wand. James and Sirius were still guffawing, Mary was giggling because James was, and both Alice and Remus looked incredibly uncomfortable. I made a strangled sound and stood up, dragging Sev behind me. He gave up fighting; in fact he looked quite pleased to be getting away from the compartment.

We stood at the very end of the train, watching the world whip past out the window. "Brilliant, we're not even there yet and Mary hates me, those bloody Marauders hate you, and you're just itching to meet them in a corridor when I'm not there and hex them inside out," I growled.

"Am not!" Sev said indignantly, sounding like a defiant four-year-old. It made me smile despite myself. I now knew that Potter was never going to stop pestering me, no matter how much I wanted him to. If he wasn't bugging me to go on a date with him, he was bugging me about Sev.

"Of course you do, Sev. _I_ want to hex him inside out, there's no way you don't."

Now a smile was tugging at Sev's lips. "Maybe we could do it together. It'll be our first date of the year, gutting Potter and hanging him from the clock tower," he said, putting on a mask of malice. I laughed, even if his sense of humor was dark.

The train began to slow, and I stumbled a little as the brakes grabbed at the tracks. Sev caught me around the waist and smirked. "We should go back," he said quietly, but I could see the reluctance in his eyes.

"No, we can wait until everyone else is gone to get our stuff… that compartment is the last place both of us want to be right now."

"If we wait too long we'll miss the carriages up to the school," Sev protested, raising his voice slightly as the sounds footsteps and opening doors and banging suitcases travelled down the aisle.

"But if we time it right, we'll get one alone," I reminded him with a smile. He grinned and hugged me closer, and we stood watching the platform at Hogsmeade fill with students out the window.

"Aren't you coming?" I glanced over my shoulder and saw Alice leaving our now-empty compartment.

"Yeah, you go on ahead. We'll catch up," I said. I took Sev's hand and we grabbed our things, but stayed in the compartment for a moment longer.

"She'll have saved us a carriage," Sev muttered.

"Oh come on, don't sound so disappointed," I said, laughing lightly. "We've got all year to snog."

"So I've got the rest of the year, then you're dumping me once we graduate?" Sev teased, leading me out of the compartment.

"Shut up!" I laughed, hitting his arm with my backpack. "If I have it my way we'll be snogging long after graduation."

Sev's steps faltered for a moment, and I was grateful that we had just stepped out into the darkness that hid my pink cheeks. "Can we pretend I never said that?" I asked, my voice higher than usual. Sev didn't reply, but he held me slightly closer.


	8. Decisions

**_A/N: Hey, look at that, two in one day! I feel accomplished. Anyway, I'm going camping, and usually when I'm sitting by the campfire I get my best ideas. So if all goes well they'll be more on Friday? I dunno. _**

**_Do people even like this stuff? I mean, I know a few do, but... uhm. If you tell me a rough plot I can write a fic about it for you, if you so desire. Make a request in the review thingie! Do it! NOW!_**

* * *

><p><em>James.<em>

_ Sev._

_ James._

_ Sev._

The two names were jostling for place in my mind, and I growled at the canopy over my bed.

"Problem?" Alice asked, amused. I propped myself up on my elbows, checking to see that the two of us were the only ones in our dormitory before badly stifling a sob. I didn't even have to say anything; Alice came right over and sat next to me on my bed, hugging me tight. I cried shamelessly onto her shoulder. "Merlin, you are really cutting yourself up over this, aren't you?"

"It's just… I…" I choked, but the words wouldn't come.

"Shut up and cry yourself out," Alice ordered. "We can talk after." My only response was to sob harder and try not to throw up all over her robes. It was strangely satisfying, finally letting everything I had been feeling over the past few weeks out.

"I love Severus so much," I said quietly, after what felt like an eternity. Alice laughed lightly.

"Well then why are you freaking out?" she demanded.

I sniffed. "Because he called me a mudblood -"

"Don't say that!"

"- and it hurt, so bad -"

"I know it did, you barely left your bed the rest of the year."

"- and then James, James made me feel better, and for once he wasn't being an asswipe, he was being nice and kind and generous and I thought, maybe I _could_ love him -"

"_Ohhh…_" Alice said in understanding.

"But then Sev came to my door in the middle of the night in July." My voice had dropped to being barely above a whisper; I had sworn to Sev I wouldn't tell anyone. "and he was bloodied and bruised and it was awful, and his parents had been rowing about something he did. And his dad, his dad…" I drew a shuddering breath, "he kind of beat him up a little. And he needed somewhere to go, and he was actually in tears when I opened the door, and I wasn't going to say no, and I let him in and my mum and I helped him get better, and we let him stay in our guest room. And I forgave him."

"Why?" Alice breathed, and I knew that she honestly had no idea. All she knew was that beginning of sixth year, Sev and I were getting along as well as ever.

I swallowed and felt tears stinging my eyes again. "Because his parents found out that he – that he was desperately in love with me. His mother completely freaked out because I'm muggle-born, and his father was mad at his mother because he thought she was being shallow and that Sev should go out with me if I wanted to. But that wasn't the whole thing, because after that it escalated into something more and Sev jumped in to try to stop them but got attacked by his own father.

"But that's not my point, my point is that I'm a moron who doesn't recognize love when it stares her right in the face, and that night he looked at me and told me again he was eternally sorry, and he told me he loved me and couldn't stand to lose me, and right then I knew he was dead serious. And…"

"_And?_"

"And I kissed him," I croaked.

Alice squealed and laughed at the same time. "I still don't get your problem! Severus loves you, and you at least fancy him if you kissed him. You guys would be perfect together," she added, softer.

I struggled to find words. "I'm actually quite sure I love him, but I'm terrified that I'm going to go and devote myself to him and he's going to break my heart all over again. I'm not sure if I can trust him. And to be honest, I don't want to hurt James either, because I know he's devoted to me."

Alice was quiet for a long time, and when she finally spoke her voice was gentle and even. "Severus Snape called you a you-know-what two years ago. He apologized and you forgave him, and not only is he your friend, he's madly in love with you. We can all see it in his eyes when he looks at you; to him you're the only person in the world that matters. And Severus Snape dropped out of the Death-Eater-wannabe club the day after OWLs because he knew you hated it." Her last words made me look up sharply in surprise. Alice went on in a deadly serious voice. "And when you were patrolling the train on the first day of sixth year, Avery and Mulciber found him at the other end of the train. And there was no-one around to help him, and he didn't even defend himself when they attacked him for being a traitor."

My breath caught and I was dimly aware of tears pouring down my cheeks. The news was like being slapped and punched in the stomach. "How… how do you…"

"Because I was sitting alone in a compartment, waiting for you to get off duty, and he came staggering in, and as I healed him he told me everything. I managed to fix him up before you joined us and I swore I wouldn't say a thing. It was a hard promise to keep… they had used his own curse against him, the _Sectumsempra_, and he was covered in these awful gashes, and they had used Muggle fighting too and he was bruised and bloodied and -"

"Stop it!" I wailed, and burst into tears again. Alice's words were terrible and heart-wrenching, but they also threw everything into a new light. Severus had allowed himself to nearly be killed, just to get back in my good books. James wouldn't, I knew that much. Sev had loved me almost all his life, and it wasn't until then that I realized I loved him just as much.

"I'm sorry I never told you," Alice whispered, holding me tight. I swallowed and took a few deep breaths before pulling away from her hug.

"It's okay, at least I know now," I said, standing shakily. Alice jumped to her feet as well.

"You know now?" she repeated, and I knew she had seen the second meaning to my words.

"I think I've always known. See you at dinner."

I broke into a run as soon as I had left the dormitories, crossing the common room so fast I nearly knocked over two second years. My feet pounded on the stone corridors as I ran, whipping around corners and jumping down steps. I saw him when I reached the top of the stairs leading down to the entrance hall, walking into the Great Hall for dinner.

"Lily?" he called, looking up. He looked concerned, and I realized I must look like a mess. I didn't care. I sprinted down the last few steps, bolted across the hall and threw myself into Severus's arms. He stumbled back a little as he caught me, and I kissed him with as much passion as I could muster.

In a heartbeat he had one hand in my hair and the other holding me up, and he was kissing me back. I had started crying again, only this time it was out of happiness. People around us were wolf-whistling and laughing, but in that moment Severus Snape was the only person in the universe.

When Sev started to sway on the spot, I pulled away just enough so our lips no longer touched. His scent was intoxicating, and it took a good amount of willpower not to snog him again. He didn't let me go. "I'm in love with you, Sev," I whispered.

Sev didn't reply. He didn't have to. All he had to do was kiss me back, and I knew that he was mine. Always.


	9. Decisions: Part 2

_**A/N: I believe this could be a story in itself. I'm liking the idea, anyway.**_

"I don't want to eat away from you," Sev said quietly. "I don't want to be away from you ever again."

"Go grab some food and meet me here in five minutes," I replied. It took some effort to let go of Sev's hands and walk into the Great Hall.

It felt like all eyes were suddenly on me. Whispers were racing up and down the house tables like wildfire, especially at the Gryffindor and Slytherin ones. I tried to ignore them, but felt my face turning pink as I walked calmly down the Gryffindor table and began putting bits of food into a napkin like a plate.

"_Lily!_" Alice was running towards me, her face stuck somewhere between a grin and a look of shock. "What happened? Why is everyone staring?" she hissed once she was close enough. I tried not to smile, but failed.

"I might have jumped into Sev's arms and snogged him in front of the entire school," I said offhandedly. Alice burst into a fit of shrieking giggles. "Shut up," I growled, but a stupid grin had curled across my face and I couldn't stop. "Anyway, I'm going to eat with him outside, away from everyone…" I might as well have been talking to a wall; Alice was doubled over and still cackling. I rolled my eyes and walked back into the entrance hall, still grinning.

Sev looked slightly punch-drunk when I met him. "Picnicking, I assume?" he asked, holding up his own bundle of food.

"Yeah… I don't want to deal with people right now. Especially Potter."

Sev took my hand in his and we began strolling down towards the lake. "So, I'm guessing this all means that it's me," he said dryly, though I could hear hope in his voice. Both boys knew that I was going to choose between the two of them, and they had been jostling to win my affection for the past month until I snapped and told them both to stop earlier that week.

"It's always been you," I said softly, moving closer. "I was just too stupid to realize it until tonight."

We reached the shore of the lake and sat down under a tree. A part of me recognized it as the same spot Sev had insulted me two years ago, but I didn't seem to care anymore. "And what made you come to this conclusion?" Sev asked with a smile.

"Alice, really…" I said, and I paused, unsure of how to put what I wanted to say. "She said… she said that you dropped the whole Death Eater thing." Beside me, Sev stiffened, but I ploughed on. "And she told me that they found you on the train in our sixth year… and…" Merlin, was I really going to start crying again? I never knew a person could have so many tears.

"I'm sorry," Sev whispered, pulling me into a gentle hug. "I was doing it for you, and –"

"That's it though!" I cried, burrowing into his side. "I'm not sure whether I'm flattered or whether I'm disgusted by the fact that you allowed yourself to practically get killed because of me, and I hate myself for not realizing you loved me earlier on so you wouldn't have to go through it…"

"Shh, you're being ridiculous," Sev said, pressing two fingers to my lips. I froze. We stared at each other a moment longer – mirrored in his eyes were my exact feelings - before he lunged forwards and kissed me, grabbing the back of my head and the back of my waist. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself as close as I could, and he lay back, pulling me on top of him. Our food lay discarded in the grass.

It was a few minutes before we finally broke apart, panting. My heart was racing and I could feel his heart thrumming against my chest. After a moment of staring into his eyes, I wriggled down a little and lay with my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and we lay there for a long time.

"It's dark," Sev pointed out after what felt like an eternity. "We should go in, we'll get detention."

"I'm not sure I can," I admitted. "Why were we ever put in different houses again?"

"Because the Sorting Hat is an idiot," Sev said simply. He sat up slowly, and I shifted so I was sitting on his lap. He brushed his lips against mine, but it didn't last. Reluctantly, I got to my feet along with him. We walked back up to the castle as close together as it was possible to be.

We paused outside the doors. "This should be fun," Sev muttered. I took a deep breath and shouldered the door open. Just as I had expected, heads began turning. Sev squeezed my hand and we kept walking – right past where he should have turned to go down to his common room. "I'm walking you to your common room," he said in explanation, mounting the first set of stairs. "Because frankly, the Slytherin common room is the last place I want to be right now."

I cast him a despairing look. "They aren't going to do anything to you, are they?" I asked fearfully.

"If they do, it will have been worth it," he said carefully. I didn't say anything – I knew I couldn't argue against him – but I stopped short just outside the Fat Lady's portrait and hugged him fiercely.

"You're the best person in the world, you know that?" I said into his shoulder. "I love you so much."

"I love you, Lily," he murmured, and let me go. "No go, or we'll both miss curfew." I frowned and paused a moment before kissing him one last time on the cheek. He smiled a shy smile and I could feel his eyes on my back as I clambered through the portrait hole.

At once, I seemed to become the most interesting thing in the room. Heads were turning and whispers were beginning to break out again. I tried to walk across the common room calmly, without attracting any more attention than I needed to, but that plan flew out the window when my eyes fell on a group of four boys sitting by the fireplace. All four were staring at me.

Sirius was giving me a dirty look. Remus looked almost apologetic. Peter looked eager to find out what was going to happen next. James looked completely and utterly heartbroken.

I felt a pang of dismay and realized that everyone was watching as James got out of his chair slowly and walked over to me. His eyes were so full of pain that I had to look away. "You kissed him," he said, and his voice was the worst part. It was so hollow, so devoid of emotion, that it made my heart wrench again. "Don't lie, Lils, just say it."

My mouth worked but no sound came out. My eyes were filling with tears yet again. Finally, I managed to choke out the words, "I'm sorry."

James's eyes showed nothing but agony. "So it's him then? You're choosing the Death Eater?" he demanded, and even though it was hoarse it was beginning to have a hint of anger.

"He's not a Death Eater, he's done with it all…" I protested, but James wouldn't hear it.

"I love you, Lils! I love you to the end of the world and back, and I can protect you and love you and keep you safe!" he exploded. "Even if he really is done with it, you don't think they're gonna let him go just like that? They're going to hunt him down, Lily, and they're going to kill him! And they're going to kill anyone important to him too! I can save you from this, but you're choosing to die?"

"I would rather die alongside Sev than watch it happen from afar!" I retorted, and I realized I was yelling. "I love Severus Snape, and everything about him. If that means that one day Death Eaters will knock down our door and kill us both, then fine! At least I'd have been happy!"

"What about your kids, Lily?" James snarled, and his words took me aback.

"I'm seventeen, I'm not thinking -"

"But one day you will, and what'll happen then?" James's expression clearly showed that he hated what he was saying. "They won't just stop at you and Snape, they'll kill your kids, they'll kill your parents and your sister and -"

"Stop!" I cried, and the silence that followed was deafening. I was fighting hard not to show how much his words had hurt. "I love you, James," I said evenly. "But I love Sev more. That's all there is to it. And I choose him… no matter what. Because in the end it will have been worth it."

"You don't believe that," James said, and his voice was agonized and empty again. "Come on, Lil, if you have to watch your mother die, your own children slaughtered -"

"Shut up!" I interrupted, but now he knew he was right on one count; tears were pouring down my cheeks. "So I won't have kids, so I'll drop all connection with my mum," I said, sounding completely unconvincing.

"Yeah right. Lily, come on, I can give you everything and more… please…"

For a moment, part of me knew that he was right. I knew that he was the good choice, that he was the safe choice… maybe I had it wrong…

"I love Sev," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "And I love him no matter what complications he comes with." James's face was slack and emotionless, and I kissed his cheek tenderly. "Goodnight, James."

I turned on my heel and walked at a surprising speed towards the stairs. The talk was just beginning as I slammed the door of the girls dormitory, strode across the room without looking at who was there, and threw myself onto my bed, sobbing again.

"I don't think it's human for a person to have so many tears," Alice said from somewhere at my side, but I could hear pity in her voice. All at once, there were four sags on my mattress as the girls sat around me. It was a while before I was able to sit up, leaning against my headboard and hugging my knees to my chest.

"Somebody, tell me I made the right choice," I pleaded.

"You made the right choice," Mary said, and a smile played around her lips. "Now James is free for me."

"Shut up," Alice laughed. "Look Lils, some of what James said was true, but if you ask me they won't bother Sev anymore. He's seventeen, he can't know that much about their cause yet. There's no reason to kill him, or you, or all the beautiful black-haired-green-eyed babies you're going to have." She grinned. "So go to sleep and dream about Sev. You'll feel better in the morning."

I looked around at them all and sighed. "You guys are the best."

"We know," Dorcas said happily.

The others moved off to their beds and I wriggled under the covers of my own. I lay awake for a long time, staring at the canopy over my bed. And after a long time, Alice's words finally began to sink in. We'd be fine, he would be fine…

I sighed happily and rolled over, burrowing into my pillow. Two names were still looping in my head, but this time they were different.

_Lily & Sev, Lily & Sev, Lily & Sev…_

**_When I was writing this I couldn't help but think James had a point. Shit. _**

**_Reviews? Pleasey please?_**


	10. Snow and Rain

_**A/N: So, I wrote two really short, cute little fics, and I figured it would just be easier to upload them together. They don't really have anything to do with each other, except for it involves them acting like they're about five years old. OHWELL**_

_**And I'm probably going to continue off of the 'Decisions' chapters, I just need to think of where to go next and I'd need to know if that's even wanted. I know one person wanted it, anyway, so...**_

_**ANYWHO. But yeah, these are just kinda cute fluffy drabbles. Enjoyyy**_

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><p>I wasn't sure what made me do it, but as soon as I woke up to discover that the grounds were coated in a thick blanket of snow, I pulled on the warmest clothing I could find and set off towards the main doors.<p>

Just as I reached the entrance hall, I heard an amused voice call out. "I knew I would find you here." I turned around and beamed at Sev, who was also dressed in layers. "You're such a kid."

"So?" I said, sticking out my tongue at him childishly. He smirked and we pushed the doors open, the sunlight reflecting off the sun and half-blinding us. We stumbled out into the calf-deep snow, my breath bursting into little clouds in front of me.

We had only waded out a few meters before Sev called my name. I turned and got a face full of snow. I heard Sev laughing as he ran, and I didn't even pause to wipe the snow off my face before I scooped up a handful of snow and lobbed it towards him as hard as I could.

It landed a foot away from him. "Pathetic!" he yelled. I grabbed another snowball and threw it – my aim was just as bad – but by then I was running after him, gigging like mad. I knew that anyone watching would have thought we were both insane – after all, we were two seventeen-year-olds practically frolicking in the snow like toddlers.

Sev made a tightly-packed snowball and hurled it at me. An idea struck me at the same time as the snowball, and I staggered backwards, clutching my hands to my face. "Sev, you ass…" I groaned, and I watched between my fingers as Sev came marching back over, looking concerned.

"What happened?"

"That had a shard of ice in it or something… Merlin, that hurt…"

"Lily, I'm sorry… I -" I lunged forwards and tackled him as hard as I could, and I fell on top of him in the snow. "You're a terrible person, Lily Evans."

"You're incredibly gullible, Severus Snape." I smiled down at him, and noticed that we were so close together I could see snowflakes caught in his eyelashes. I let my head drop the last few centimeters and kissed him tenderly. He made a happy grunting sound and I felt his hand trailing up my back to my hair… and suddenly, the entire back of my neck was icy cold.

I sat bolt upright and Sev roared with laughter. I shook my head furiously, trying to shake off the snow he had dumped down the back of my jumper. "You moron!" I growled, and I took an armful of snow and dumped it on his face.

He jumped up as well, and we sat there laughing at each other for a long time. "I love loving my best friend," I admitted once my giggles had subsided. Sev smiled.

"I love being best friends with my girlfriend," he said simply.

"Mmm," I replied, loving the way he said _girlfriend_. He kissed me again and I could feel his nose on my cheek – it almost felt frozen. "Come on, let's go in… I'd sooner have a live boyfriend than one that froze to death." I caught him smiling at the use of the word and let me pull him to his feet, shaking off the snow like a dog.

As we walked up to the castle, I hugged Sev's arm tight. In the entrance hall, I saw Alice and Mary just coming down the stairs. Alice took one look at us and grinned. "What are you two, five?" she asked. My only reply was to grab a handful of the quickly melting snow left in Sev's hood and hurl it at her, hitting her right on the head.

"Idiots!" Mary laughed as Alice frantically shook her head. Sev and I shared a grin and I squeezed his arm once before we headed into the Great Hall for breakfast.

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><p><em><strong>AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY (but not really) DIFFERENT.<strong>_

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><p>It had been raining for nearly two days straight. Rain lashed against the windows and pounded on the roofs and lightning lit up the sky brighter than any summer day. The drumming of the water on the greenhouses had made it too loud to continue class, so we had a free period, and most of us spent it in the Great Hall.<p>

I was perched on the Gryffindor table, my feet resting on the bench, staring at the tall windows with a ghost of a smile on my face. In a swish of black and green, Severus was standing beside me, staring at me. "Why are you so fascinated by this rain?" he asked, sounding bemused.

"When we were younger," I replied, not taking my eyes off the sheets of rain colliding with the glass, "and when it would pour buckets just like this, Tuney and I used to run outside and play in the rain for what felt like hours. And we'd come back inside and mum would have hot chocolate with the little marshmallows for us… I've always loved the rain."

I could feel Sev's eyes boring into me for a moment longer, and then his long fingers closed around mine. I looked down at our hands and then up to his face, trying to hide some of the surprise I felt. It was common knowledge that Sev fancied me, but he had never acted on it. I wasn't sure how to react.

"Come on," he said, his eyes dancing with a mirth I hardly ever saw outside of summer holiday.

"Why, where are we going?" I demanded, even as he pulled me off the table.

"Come on!" Sev said again, and I followed him with a grin out into the entrance hall.

"Oh no… Sev, don't…!" I cried, but it was too late – he pulled the door open and suddenly we were both standing outside, already drenched. "Shit, Sev, it's freezing!" I exclaimed, half-yelling over the sound of the downpour, but I was already laughing like mad along with him. Somehow it was wonderfully freeing just to stand there and watch the storm, to be right in the heart of it.

I took a careful step out onto the lawn and felt my foot sink into a puddle. Another step showed that the entire grounds were flooded. I couldn't help the smile creeping across my face, and I jumped into the air and landed with a splash a foot or so away, the water making my bare legs even colder. Not for the first time, I cursed whoever thought of making the girls wear skirts year-round. I turned to look at Sev, who was still standing close by the doors.

"You're so prissy," I laughed, seeing Sev's face. "You dragged me out here; you can't just stand on the steps the entire time."

"You're going to get sick," he warned, still unmoving.

"Yeah, but it's worth it," I countered, returning to where he stood and grabbing his hand. I could almost feel his surprise, but I pushed it out of my head, instead putting all my energy into dragging Sev out onto the lawn. He swore when his foot sunk ankle-deep in a puddle, and I giggled.

"This is not fun," he said flatly.

"That's because you're not doing it right. You have to jump!" I said, leaping into the air and splattering his trousers with water and mud when I landed. He took a step back but he was unable to stop the smile that flitted across his face.

"What, like this?" he asked innocently, slapping his foot down next to mine. A shower of icy water hit my legs again and I made a squeaking sound.

"Yes, like that!" I laughed, and at that moment there was a terrific boom of thunder that made me all but leap into Sev's arms, my heart in my throat. The crack of lightning that followed almost immediately after revealed Sev's half-fearful, half-excited expression, his long black hair drenched and clinging to his head. Somehow, the sight of his soaked face, of the gleam in his coal-black eyes and the softness of his skin, awoke something inside me and I realized that I was seeing Sev in an entirely new light.

Sev fancied me, I knew that much. But maybe – just maybe – I fancied him as well.

"Sev?" I said, and we both heard something entirely new in the way I spoke his name. He looked down at me in his arms, surprised.

"Lil?" he replied, his eyes searching my face. It wasn't until our eyes met that something clicked in my brain – and evidently in his too – and we both moved at the same time. Next second, I held his head in my hands and he hugged me close by the waist, both of us locked together at the lips.

The only thing that finally broke us apart was another, even louder rumble of thunder. "Shit, let's get inside," Sev said, glancing up at the sky, but his face was stuck in the same stupid grin as I wore. Before I let him turn back towards the castle, I pulled his face towards me again and kissed him quickly. Even in the stormy gloom I could see his eyes were bright with joy.

When we got back inside we stayed by the fireplace in the Great Hall, desperately trying to dry off before our next class. I sat as close to Sev as I could without sitting in his lap, and he hugged me with one arm, his goofy smile never leaving his face once.

**_ Hmm?_**


	11. Hogsmeade

**_A/N: Okay, so I'm giving in. 'Decisions' part one and two will now be part of a big, seperate fic that will start before and end after. Call what's up now a teaser... So, I'm working on that, and my own original novels (all three of them), plus school will be back in a little under three weeks. So I'm very sorry in advance if this isn't updated as often. I'm so glad people actually like it though... anything in particular you'd like to see? _**

**_Anywho, read on!_**

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><p>"Alright, that should be all for today… remember, I want your essays on my desk by Tuesday!" Slughorn called, raising his voice over the sounds of chairs scraping on the stone floors. I began packing my books back into my bag, but I paused when I felt eyes on me.<p>

"I'm not that interesting, Sev," I said, laughing lightly. Sev shook his head and blinked, smiling weakly.

"Yes you are," he said, and I could feel my cheeks turning pink as I turned back to my bag. "Wait, Lily? D'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?" Sev said quickly, and when I looked back at him I could see he was clearly surprised at his daring.

"Aren't we already going together?" I asked curiously.

Sev swallowed hard and I could almost see him bracing himself. "I know, but I meant…"

"_Go_ with you," I offered, my voice flat. Sev nodded and I could see him beginning to blush. I wasn't sure which alarmed me more – the idea of Sev blushing or his question.

"You don't have to, I – I was being stupid, never mind…" he said after a moment, turning away and shoving books into his bag as fast as he could.

"I'd be happy to," I said suddenly, and he paused.

"Really?"

My heart was pounding. "Part of me has wanted you to ask me since fourth year," I muttered. Sev smiled, clearly relieved but still nervous.

"I don't mean to intrude, but I'm afraid you two lovebirds will have to continue your conversation elsewhere," Slughorn said suddenly, and both of us whirled around.

"We're not…"

"We're just…"

Slughorn only laughed, a knowing sort of twinkle in his eyes. "Right. Of course. Just friends. Either way, move along!"

I felt my face flare crimson and quickly left the room, Sev hot on my heels. It wasn't until we were nearly out of the dungeons that we spoke again. "So, Great Hall around ten?" Sev asked, his voice sounding oddly constricted. I looked at him for a moment before nodding. He smiled at me before turning to go.

"Wait, Sev," I said suddenly, and before I could rethink it I rose up on my toes and kissed his cheek. He looked taken aback, but he beamed at me before heading to his dormitory. I stood there a moment longer before grinning to myself and starting upstairs.

I didn't get to sleep until late, and I woke up early. I couldn't help it – I was terribly nervous about the Hogsmeade trip. Even though I had gone with Sev what felt like a million times, this time was different. This time it was a date… my first date at sixteen, with my best friend. _What if you screw it up, Lily? Then what? You wouldn't have ruined a date, you'd have ruined an entire friendship…_

I forced the thought out of my head and changed, dressing slightly flirtier than I normally did in skinny jeans, strappy sandals and a thin-strapped tank top. I pulled a brush through my dark red hair and glared at my reflection in my little hand mirror.

"Stressed much?" Mary asked with a smirk. She had been watching me anxiously get ready for the past half-hour from her own bed, where she sat cross-legged. I gave her a look and went back to trying to get my hair to part the right way. Mary laughed and got up, taking the brush from my hand and fixing it for me.

"Thanks."

"You don't need to go to all this trouble, you know. James is already head-over-heels in love with you…"

"James?" I said sharply, looking up at her.

"That's who you're going with, isn't it?" Mary asked, looking puzzled.

"No, I'm going with Sev!"

"You're going on a date with Severus Snape?" Mary demanded, sounding almost scandalized. At the same time, Alice walked into the room fresh from the showers with a towel around her, beaming.

"You're going on a date with Sev?" she squealed.

"Yeah, I am," I said, unable to help the thrill of fear that coursed through me. _You're going on a date with Sev_. _A _date _with_ Sev. "What's it to you, Mary?"

"He's a Slytherin!" she exploded. "And a Death Eater to boot!"

"Oh, do us all a favour and piss off, MacDonald," I said fiercely. "You of all people should be happy for me, I rather expected you to jump on any chance you could get to knock me out of the picture so you can have Potter all to yourself." Mary's mouth worked furiously but no sound came out. "I'll be at breakfast." I snatched my bag off my bed, threw down my mirror and stormed out of the room.

"Lily! Lily, wait!" Alice called after me, but I ignored her. I ignored everyone all the way down to the Great Hall, by which time I had calmed down considerably. Sev was standing by the doors where other students were trickling out, looking nervous. When he looked up I could see his eyes widen ever so slightly as he took in my appearance. Suddenly I wasn't so sure my outfit was the best choice.

"What d'you think?" I asked self-consciously as I walked up to him. I watched his black eyes comb over me once more before he grinned.

"You look more beautiful than ever," he said, and instantly I felt myself blushing. Sev laughed and took my hand, and I blushed even deeper.

"I'm sorry, this is just… different," I said as we started down the path towards Hogsmeade. "In a good way though," I added quickly, seeing Sev's face and feeling his grip on my hand loosen. "Different in a very good way."

Being on a date with Sev was almost exactly like going to Hogsmeade normally with him. We had a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, I let him drag me into Scrivenshafts once I had dragged him into Honeydukes, and we talked and laughed just like normal. The only difference was that we held hands a lot more, and now there was something in Sev's eyes that he had hidden before – something I couldn't quite place, but something that thrilled me.

"Let's go up to the Shrieking Shack," Sev suggested after a while. I happily agreed – we had already gotten a few funny looks from other students.

_Evans and Snape? I thought… didn't he call her a…? She forgave him, for some reason. But I always thought, Evans and James… But he's a Slytherin, and she's a Gryffindor!_

We came to the little glade that overlooked the run-down house. Thankfully, it was deserted. I let my hand slip from Sev's and walked right up to the fence, taking in the shack with a half-smile. I had always liked it here more than anywhere else in the village.

"Have you really wanted me to ask you out since fourth year?" Sev asked suddenly from behind me. I didn't even turn, not wanting him to see me blushing once again.

"Yes," I admitted with a little laugh. "Yes, suddenly you were a boy and I was a girl, and everyone who was everyone was pairing up with someone else and there we were trying to stay friends. I expected you to ask me out long before this…"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really, everyone knows you fancy me, I just wasn't sure what to do about it."

"I don't fancy you, Lily," he said, and something in his voice made me turn. He stood just a little behind me, and he looked extremely nervous. "I love you."

I swallowed, and the simple action took a remarkable amount of effort. "As a friend?" I said quietly, silently begging that wouldn't be the answer.

"As soul mates."

He stepped forwards and cradled the side of my head in one of his hands, twining his long fingers into my hair. My heart was beating frantically as he tilted my face up and kissed me.

For a moment I just stood there rigidly, looking over his shoulder at the trees behind us… but then my eyes closed and I relaxed into his embrace, wrapping my own arms around him and pulling him closer. A shiver ran up my spine and Sev chuckled against my lips.

After several long moments – or it might have been half an hour – or possibly several sunlight days – we broke apart, both of us breathing heavily. "Lily, I've loved you since the day we met," Sev said huskily. "I've wanted to tell you for ages."

I only kissed him again. It was finally dawning on me that I fancied Sev at the very least, but I was dangerously close to being completely in love. Sev's mum wouldn't be happy. Neither would our houses. Tuney and James would both be furious. _My_ mum probably saw this coming ages ago… but I was happy, and Sev was clearly ecstatic, and that's all I really cared about.

"Imagine what they're going to say back at the castle when they find out I'm your girlfriend," I said after a while.

"Is that what you are?" Sev asked hopefully.

"Is it?"

"Merlin, I hope so."

"Then I am," I said simply, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear and smiling. "Lily and Sev, Hogwarts's newest – and most unlikely - couple."

"I like the sound of that," Sev said with a grin, and pulled my lips to his again.

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><p><strong><em>Oh, and YouWithTheFace, I bestow upon you the rank of Totally Awesome for getting the Monty Python thing in the last chapter. Ni!<em>**


	12. Summer

_**A/N: Okay, uhm, wow. This one is long; once I started it just kept going. And it will keep going, because you're looking at the beginning of a legit-length fic. I'll be making another fic for it momentarily, but I wanted to put this here first so that you'd all know. I'll still update this one with pointless drabbles, but the other will be a (relatively) structured story. No promises as to what's going to happen; I figure things out as I go.**_

_**But anyway. Sorry about the length, but I hope you guys like it!**_

I poked at my dinner absently, more interested in the wood grain on the table than the conversation going on around me.

"Lily?" I jerked out of my stupor and looked up at my mum. It was no surprise that she looked genuinely concerned. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You haven't eaten anything."

"Ah – not hungry," I lied. Well, not a total lie. I hadn't been hungry – I hadn't been anything – since I got back from my fifth year.

"_I_ know what's wrong," Petunia sneered. I looked at my sister and I could see cruel relish in her eyes. "I bet that boyfriend of yours broke up with you. That's why you've been so sad."

"_Boyfriend_?" Mum and I spoke at the same time – her tone was surprised and curious, and mine was defensive. "You mean Severus?"

"No!" I cried, sounding scandalized, trying to ignore the stinging in my eyes. "We were never going out!"

"But he _did_ break up with you, didn't he? As a friend." It was clear from Petunia's tone that she was thoroughly enjoying tormenting me. "That's what happened, is that you've stopped being friends. I bet he hates you."

I jumped to my feet, knocking my chair over. I couldn't even think of anything to say as a retort; I turned on my heel and left. I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, and threw myself onto my bed just as I burst into tears.

Nobody in my family knew what had happened between Sev and I after our OWLs. I intended to keep it that way – they wouldn't understand, anyway. It hadn't been very easy, considering every time I thought about Sev – which was a lot – it was like a knife in my heart. And now I knew that the jig was up, that I had to actually talk about what had happened… there were footsteps on the stairs, and then a knock on my door.

"Lily?" a voice asked tentatively, and I knew it was mum. I didn't reply, just buried my face deeper in my pillow. My floor creaked and the bed sagged on my side, and for a long time I lay there and cried while mum rubbed my back.

I sat up and took a deep breath, and then I told her everything – Sev getting himself into the Death Eaters, James constantly taunting Sev and asking me out, Sev calling me a Mudblood. When I was finished, mum said nothing, just hugged me close for a long time, rocking me back and forth the way she did when I was younger.

Half an hour later, we were still sitting there. And suddenly: "Lily!" a voice called from outside – a horribly familiar voice, one I had been aching to hear but was too afraid of what it would bring. I tensed in mum's arms and waited. "Lily, please…"

I ran to the window despite mum's protests and threw up the sash, intending to give Severus Snape the verbal lashing of a lifetime, but in the light pouring from my window I watched as he croaked my name one last time and slumped onto the lawn.

I made a choked noise. "Lily, what's wrong?" mum asked, but by then I was already halfway across my room. I could hear her footsteps behind me as I tore down the stairs and out into the warm July evening.

I dropped to my knees beside where Severus was sprawled in the grass, pulling him onto my lap and cradling his head in my hands. "Oh god, Sev, please be okay," I said, tears pouring down my cheeks. His face was bruised and bloodied, his arm lay at an unnatural angle and his breathing was shallow and labored. I could feel my heart wrench in my chest. "Sev, please…" A minute ago I had felt nothing but hatred and sorrow when I thought of the boy I held, but now I realized that all I cared about was him being okay. Nothing else mattered.

His eyelids flickered and I saw his lips move to form words. "Lily… I'm sorry…"

I barely held back a sob. "I know you are, Sev, just hold on…" I turned to mum, who stood just behind me. "Help him, please," I begged.

"We'll have to carry him inside," mum said, the worry in her eyes betraying her in-control tone. "But we'll have to be quick about it… I'm afraid if we move him too much it'll only hurt him worse."

As quickly and carefully as we could, we supported Sev between us and carried him up to my bedroom. I could tell he was in pain, but he tried not to show it. Still, I could hear him biting back his protests, his face screwed up in concentration. He barely relaxed when we set him on my bed, though his face was covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Oh god, Sev, what happened to you?" I cried, grabbing his hand.

"Tobias… and mum… fighting, and I… then he… beat…" Sev shuddered and fell silent. I turned to mum again, desperate.

"Mum…"

"His arm is definitely broken, and I'd guess that his ribs are bruised at the very least…"

"I can fix his arm!" I said excitedly, already reaching for my wand on my bedside table. "I've seen Madame Pomfrey do it loads of times, she's showed me how…"

"I thought you couldn't use magic outside of school if you're under seventeen," mum pointed out, clearly puzzled. I paused for a moment, looking down at Sev. His eyelids were flickering like he was having a terrible nightmare, and over and over I could hear him whispering my name. He had to have been in a terrible amount of pain.

"That's the least of my worries right now, mum," I said quietly.

"I'll go and get a wash cloth for his face," she announced, standing up. "At least that way you didn't do the magic in front of a Muggle." I watched her go, doubting it would make any difference, but I grabbed my wand anyway and sat on the bed beside Sev, still gripping his clammy hand.

"I'm sorry if this hurts, Sev," I whispered, and cast the spell. For a moment Sev's face twisted in agony as the bones in his arm knitted, and then he relaxed a considerable amount, almost sighing in relief. I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Thank you," Sev breathed after a moment; apparently without the pain he was able to come back to his senses. I brushed his black hair off of his face, smiling weakly. Mum returned with a damp dishtowel, and after a moment she passed it to me.

"I'm going to go get dinner cleaned up," she said, and I realized that this was her way of giving Sev and I a moment to talk. I gave her a grateful look and watched that she closed the door behind her before I turned back to Sev, gently wiping the sticky blood from his face. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, but I just avoided meeting his gaze. I couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry. So sorry," he said quietly. I sighed, putting the cloth down and looking away, out my window.

"I know you are, Sev."

"Please, Lily, forgive me…"

I took a deep breath, barely holding back a fresh onslaught of tears. "Sev, I -"

"Look at me." The desperation and sadness in his voice finally made my eyes find his. And there he was – not the fifteen year old boy with a blooming black eye and such a heavy heart, but the nine year old I had met all those years ago at the playground… the nine year old boy that I had somehow almost come to love, until he called me a…

"I've hated myself more and more every second since I called you what I did. I wasn't myself, I swear, Potter… he humiliated me in front of you, and then you –"

"I what?"

"You smiled. He taunted me and you smiled, and that hurt worse than anything else Potter could have done to me," Sev said in a tiny voice. "And I was mad at you and wanted you to hurt as much as I did. And I'm a horrible person for it."

"No you aren't…. and I'm genuinely sorry for smiling, Sev," I said softly, but then I remembered what I meant to say in the first place and a tiny bit of anger leaked back into my brain. "But you call everyone like me a mudblood. I want to forgive you more than anything, but how can I when you're just going to go on being a Death Eater wannabe, standing for everything that goes against me?"

"I swear to you, I wouldn't dream of it," he said seriously, and he took both my hands in his as he sat up. "I'm never talking to that lot again. I'll cut my hair and be civil to the Marauders and I'll even come to Quidditch games if that's what you want. I'll do anything, Lily… I can't lose you."

The only question that came to mind was, "Why?"

Sev took a deep breath. "Because I love you. Because you're the only person I'll ever love, and I'm not letting you go without a fight."

There was a long, heavy silence. "I'm not going anywhere, Sev," I finally said, my voice quite a bit lower than usual. Sure, Sev fancied me – everyone knew that – but I had never guessed he loved me. Frankly I had never thought myself particularly loveable, even if everyone told me otherwise. "But you have to stop with this Death Eater nonsense."

"Done," Sev said instantly.

"Oh… and don't you dare cut your hair," I said, giving him a shy smile and reaching out to comb my fingers through his black tresses. Sev beamed. The sight of my best friend's smile – hell, even just calling him my best friend again – made a rush of happiness spread through me, and without thinking about it I leaned forward and kissed him.

Sev was the one to pull away after a few seconds. I didn't blame him – I was just as shocked at what I had done. "Lily?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, I was being stupid, never mind…" I stammered, turning pink, but Sev sat up farther and kissed me back. I felt a wonderful surge of affection for him. For the first time I noticed how intoxicating his scent was, how wonderful his long fingers felt in my hair… _and besides, Lily, what could be better than falling for your best friend? You're already closer than close, this is just… an upgrade._

Our lips stayed locked together for a good deal longer than last time, and when we finally broke apart I tried to hide how breathless I was. We stared at each other for a moment before the corners of Sev's mouth twitched, and a bubble of sound rose in my chest. A second later we were both giggling like little kids; I was collapsed across Sev's legs and he was leaning against the headboard.

"Well it's certainly nice to find you in better condition than before," mum said as she walked through the door, carrying a tray of food. I sat up, sobering, and mum placed the tray across Sev's lap. "You could both use a decent meal, eat up," she ordered. "Oh, and while you're eating, Severus… would you object to telling us what happened to you tonight?"

Sev swallowed and I could see his eyes fill with fear. I took his hand and squeezed it. He sighed. "My mum and Tobias fight. All the time," Sev said quietly. "Tobias is a drunk, and he's a violent drunk at that. Mum's terrified of him, I know it, I don't know why she keeps him around… but sometimes I get caught up in the fight when I'm trying to protect mum, and Tobias…" Sev shuddered violently and I squeezed his hand again, horrified of what I was hearing. When he spoke again Sev was barely whispering.

"Well, tonight they were fighting and I got in the way, and Tobias… he pushed me into the counter, that's why my ribs hurt… and he punched me in the eye and when I pulled out my wand to try to stop him he broke my arm. I thought I was going to throw up, it hurt so bad… I would have if I had eaten more than some dry bread and old cheese since I got home." Sev chuckled darkly, and now I was crying silently again. "And mum made him leave like she always does, and he went along happily enough… probably tired himself out, went back to some pub… and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to fix things with you, no matter what it took, because so long as I was with you I could pretend that I didn't hurt. So I came stumbling over, this cut over my eyebrow half-blinding me with blood, and…" he trailed off, his eyes searching my face.

"You can't go back there," I said, my voice cracking. "Please don't, Sev."

"But he can't stay here. I'm not his mother, it wouldn't be legal…" mum argued. "I want Severus to stay, believe me I do, but…"

"Mum threw me out," Sev said suddenly, and now his eyes were swimming with tears. "She said it was my fault Tobias and her fought in the first place, and that's the main reason I came here. She said I could come back for my things but…" Sev trailed off.

"You can't be serious," I said, stunned. Sev didn't say anything, but I knew he was telling the truth when he sniffled once. "Oh, Severus!" I wailed, throwing my arms around him and hugging him as tightly as I dared without hurting his ribs.

"If that truly is the case, Severus, we'd be more than willing to let you stay here," mum said carefully. "But only if you wish it."

"I don't want to impose," Sev said quickly. I hiccupped and stared at him.

"This isn't the time to be modest, Sev, your own mum threw you out…"

"I know," Sev said, and I could see the hurt in his eyes and shut my mouth. "Thank you, Mrs. Evans," he said sincerely, turning back to mum.

Mum smiled sadly. "Eat, and then get some rest, we can talk about this later," she said, and left the room.

Sev and I ate in relative silence. When the plates were empty I carried the tray over to my desk and crawled up onto the bed to sit beside Sev. "Looks like we got lucky… no ministry owls," I pointed out.

"Don't go jinxing it," Sev said, smirking, but we fell into silence once again.

"Sev."

"Lily."

"What are we?" I asked worriedly. "Best friends?"

"Of course we are, we promised to be best friends forever years ago," Sev reminded me, and then something dawned in the back of his eyes. "Oh."

"Oh," I repeated. Sev let out his breath in a patient sigh.

"I love you, Lily," he said again, and I felt my stomach clench, "but I can tell you don't love me."

"Yet," I countered, and when Sev seemed thrown I continued, "You know, I had intended to tell you after our OWLs… you felt like more than a friend to me, Sev, and I meant to ask if you felt the same way. But I never got the chance, and so I'm telling you now – I think that I fancy you at the very least, but I could love you easily."

"I'll wait," Sev said seriously. "I'll wait as long as it will take, Lily, if it's a week or a decade." I smiled.

"You're an amazing person, you know that?"

Sev grinned and moved towards me, but paused. "May I?" he asked. I laughed.

"Please do," I said with a smirk, and kissed him again.

"Jesus Christ, Lily!"

My eyes flew open and my brain raced to make sense of what I was seeing. Alice Prewett was standing in my doorway, looking shocked. Beside her stood Mary Macdonald, and behind both of them were the Marauders. James swore loudly. It didn't take long to realize what had them so upset – after staying up most of the night talking and laughing and occasionally snogging, Sev and I had fallen asleep together, in each other's arms, under the covers of my bed.

I recoiled from him instantly. Sev woke up with a start, blearily mumbling something about Gryffindors in his common room.

"What the hell are you all doing in my bedroom?" I demanded, angrier at the situation then at them.

"What the hell are you doing in bed with Snivellus?" Sirius retorted.

"You invited all of us over today, remember?" Alice said gently, though she still looked alarmed. "We were going to go to Diagon Alley to get your mind off things… though it looks as though you've solved that problem on your own."

I sighed, pulling the covers off and swinging my legs over the side of my bed. "First of all, look. Fully dressed." I gave them a reproving look. "Second of all, I invited Alice and Mary and Remus, I don't know how the rest of you fit in. Third and most important, when did the meeting place become my bedroom?"

"When we came to the door and your sister said to go right up," Mary said, and I scowled. _Typical Petunia_. "I invited James along as well, and if you invite one Marauder you invite them all, I guess."

"Why did you invite James?" I asked, and I stared at her, trying to tell her with my eyes that he was the last person I wanted to spend the day with.

"Well I figure it would help!" she said, and I fought the urge to growl. "After all, you do fancy him, don't you?"

"_What?"_ three voices chorused. James suddenly looked hopeful and cocky, Sev had finally come to his senses and looked outraged, and I expected my expression mirrored his.

"Do you really?" James asked excitedly.

"What the hell is going on?" Sev demanded.

"Stop!" I said loudly, and the room fell silent. "Look, you guys, could you just… wait in the living room or something? Make mum get you all a snack or something. I just need twenty minutes and we can go," I said tiredly. Alice nodded and shooed the others out of the room. It wasn't until she was the last one there that she gave me a tiny smile, darting out of the room and closing the door before the pillow I threw could hit her.

Sev and I sat there for a moment. "What's going on?" Sev asked again.

"I… Alice and Mary knew how cut up I was after… after our OWLs… and they said that they were going to take me to Diagon Alley for a girl's day. We invited Remus, mostly because he felt terrible for what James and Sirius did and he wanted to make it up to me. And you heard what Mary said about James…"

"And is what Mary said about James true?" Sev said, and I shifted so that I could see him. He looked guarded and wary. I sighed, there was no use in lying.

"He's funny and he's handsome and he's charming, in his weird sort of way," I admitted, and watched Sev tense up. "But he's also an ass, and he's cocky and a jerk and a bully. You're my best friend. _You're _handsome, and funny and charming, and smart and obviously you're a fighter… and you're a damn good kisser, might I add," I said with a sly smile. "Potter doesn't measure up to you, Sev."

"But you do fancy him," Sev said flatly.

I got to my feet to get dressed. "But I fancy you more. It's like looking at the Cannons and Ireland – you've got a soft spot for the Cannons, but you know they're hopeless and that you'll never in a million years love them more than Ireland."

Sev frowned. "You know I don't get Quidditch."

I grinned. "And _I'm_ the muggle born… Pumpkin Pasties and Bertie Botts then," I offered, and Sev smirked, getting up with a tiny groan and massaging his ribs.

"Am I allowed to tag along to Diagon Alley then?" Sev asked, and I paused in the middle of rifling through my closet. I gave him a funny look.

"So you're asking if you're allowed to come to Diagon Alley… and be _social_… in the same group as the boys who make your life hell?" I asked slowly, not daring to believe it.

"I'm asking if I'm allowed to come to Diagon Alley and be social with the girl I love, knowing that I'd sooner take Potter and Black with you rather than your sister alone."

I beamed at him before disappearing into the bathroom to change. When I returned Sev was still standing by my bed, wearing the slightly-too-big jeans and collared shirt he had shown up in. They were wrinkled from sleeping and his shirt had a good amount of dried blood on it. I frowned at him.

"I could either risk using more magic, or you could wear some of my dad's things," I said.

"Or you could go ahead. I'll go by Spinners End and grab everything I need and meet you at the Leaky Cauldron," Sev suggested.

"I don't want you to go back there alone," I muttered. "What if your dad's there?" Sev's eyebrows knitted together – clearly he hadn't thought about that. "Come on, at least a shirt." Sev nodded and I ran into my parents' room, grabbing a button-up shirt and bringing it back to Sev.

As I put on a pair of earrings I couldn't help watching Sev get dressed in the mirror. I tried to hide the tiny gasp I gave when I saw his abs. He caught my eye and chuckled. "You know, being hung upside down at least once a week and running from toe rags every day has its advantages."

I gave him an incredulous look and walked back over just as he did up the buttons of the shirt. "It looks good on you," I commented absently, putting my arms around his neck.

"Do you figure it's safe to say you're my girlfriend?" Sev asked softly, and my breath caught in my throat.

"They already think we've shagged, Sev, I sincerely doubt we'll be able to convince them we're anything less than dating," I said, unable to keep the mischievous glint out of my eyes. "I wouldn't want to try, anyway."

Sev pressed his lips against mine but only for a moment. "Neither would I," he agreed, taking my hand. "Come on then, let the day of hell begin."

"At least be civil," I told him, leading him out the door and down the stairs.

"I will if they will," Sev replied.

"Good enough."

The others were all sitting in the living room, looking distinctly awkward. Sev sat on the couch beside Remus and I perched on the armrest, trying to act like the bedroom incident had never happened. "So how are we all getting to Diagon Alley, might I ask? Our fireplace isn't connected to the Floo, and none of us can Apparate."

"Oh, my mum is outside, she was going to drive us to my house twenty minutes away and we were going to Floo from there," Alice said, standing up. The others all moved towards the door, and I quickly wrote a note to mum telling her where I was before leaving.

To my surprise, Sev and Remus were talking intently as they made their way to a station wagon in our driveway, leaving me with Alice. "So what happened, anyway?" she asked, and I sighed.

"Nothing," I said firmly. "Well, almost nothing. I can't tell you everything, Sev would only be mad if I did. My point is, Sev's been forgiven, but not in the way you think he's been."

"But you were -"

"I know," I said quickly, lowering my voice as we grew closer to the car. "But we didn't."

"Did you snog though?" she pressed, and I could see an amused sparkle in her brown eyes. I gave her a tiny nod, biting back a shy smile, and she suppressed a squeal as we climbed into the magically-expanded car. It was something like a limo inside – two long bench seats faced each other. Three of the Marauders plus Mary were talking on one of them, and Alice and I sat next to Remus and Sev. Without breaking his conversation with the sandy-haired boy, Sev slid his hand into mine again. I squeezed it.

Something had changed inside Sev, that much I knew. Everyone knew it. Why else would he be talking to Remus and Alice and Mary, or not sneering and scowling at the Marauders, or even just smiling and laughing?

"Are you sure you're Severus Snape?" Mary demanded at Florean Fortiscue's ice cream parlour. The others watched Sev intently; clearly they had been wondering the same thing.

"Positive," he replied, taking another mouthful of the ice cream the two of us were sharing.

"But you're so… happy."

Sev smirked. "Indeed I am, Macdonald." I beamed at him and I knew that the others all looked bewildered.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I heard Sirius whisper.

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind as we looked in almost every shop on the alley. Before I knew it I was falling onto the couch in the living room beside Sev and the others. Mum was making dinner for all eight of us, and both girls were spending the night – Sev had promised to stay out of the way and confine himself to the guest room. I had never known it was possible to be as shocked and surprised by a person as I was at the sullen Slytherin.

Everyone left around seven, Mary and Alice going to get a bag for overnight. As soon as the door closed behind the last person, I whirled on Sev, gaping.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"Everything!" I cried, throwing my arms around him. "What happened to the moody, anti-social Sev?"

"He died the second you kissed me," Sev said into my hair. I hugged him for a moment longer before leaning back.

"I'm sorry to put a damper on your good mood, Sev, but what are you going to do about your stuff?" I asked. A crease appeared between his eyebrows.

"I have to go get it some time," he said eventually. "I'll go over there tonight."

"Not alone, you aren't." Sev and I both turned to see mum standing in the doorway. "I'll drive you over and help."

"Mrs. Evans, I appreciate it but I don't want you near my parents," Sev said uncomfortably. "I don't know what kind of state they'll be in when I go…"

"All the more reason for you not to go alone," mum said crisply. "Severus, it'll be fine," she added, softer. Sev stared at her for a moment before swallowing and nodding.

"Whenever you're ready then, Mrs. Evans."

"Don't call me that, it sounds too proper. Call me Violet," mum said, already moving to get her car keys.

"Okay then… Violet."

I gave a tight hug and a quick kiss. "Good luck."

Sev nodded, his mouth a thin line, and followed my mum out the door just as Alice and Mary came striding in. "Where's Snape going?" Mary asked curiously once the door had closed. I frowned at the use of his last name, watching the car pull out of the drive.

"Spinner's End. He's just got to get his trunk and things."

"Why?" Alice inquired.

"He'd only be mad if I told you," I replied. Both girls looked a little confused. I bit back a sigh and put on a happy face. "Doesn't matter. Come on; let's go up to my room."

I heard the front door open and close half an hour later, and seconds later footsteps were stomping past my bedroom door. The guest room door slammed, and I could hear my mother swear once in the foyer. My heart sank as I looked at the other girls.

"What's wrong with Severus, Lil?" Alice asked quietly. I opened my mouth and closed it, wanting nothing more than to run into the guest room.

"He's going to hate me for telling you," I whispered. "And you can't tell anyone, because if you do I'm going to hex you into the next century. But Sev's mum might have kicked him out of the house."

"You're kidding!" Mary cried, and both Alice and I shushed her.

"No, I'm not. He's staying here, I suppose, and you're to pretend that you don't know a thing. Or else," I said fiercely. They nodded mutely.

After a moment, Alice spoke. "Go on, Lily, I can tell you're aching to go see him."

"No, Sev…" I trailed off, unable to think of a single argument. "I'll be back, I swear to Merlin."

"We're fine, go!" Mary insisted, and gratefully I scrabbled to my feet and left.

I could hear mum in the kitchen. When she was mad, she baked, and judging by the racket she was making she was furious. My spirits dampening every second, I knocked timidly on the guest room door at the end of the hall. "Sev?" I called. There was no reply. "Come on, Sev, open up."

The door flew open, a hand grabbed my arm and the door closed behind me. I blinked, trying to make my eyes adjust to the sudden gloom. Sev was standing there, not even bothering to hide how anguished he looked. "Oh god, Sev, what happened?" I asked sadly, reaching for one of his hands. He jerked away and strode over to sit on the bed.

"Tobias was cheating on her. He was cheating on her with some slag, and they're getting a divorce." Sev's voice was edgy; he was obviously trying very hard not to cry. I sat next to him on the bed, putting my arms around him. "And mum… god, Lily, her face…" He drew a deep, shuddering breath. "She was worse off than I was." A single tear rolled down his cheek, and I kissed it away. "That's not even the worst part though," Sev said, laughing darkly. "She said she wanted to disown me. Said I was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Of course, your mum flew into a rage, it was really quite terrifying."

"Sev," I whispered, because I wasn't sure what else to say.

After a few minutes, Sev sighed. "You know what, never mind. I'm well rid of that place, it was hell. And now I get to stay here, with my best-friend-and-then-some, for the foreseeable future – no matter what it does to my pride – so I figure it's a pretty decent trade-off."

I knew that his heart wasn't fully into what he was saying, but I smiled at him all the same.

"Now go, you've got friends to entertain," Sev said briskly, pushing me away with a smirk. I only paused for a moment, kissing him softly.

"It'll be alright," I said quietly.

"I know full well it will be, now go!" Sev laughed. I grinned at him before turning away and returning to my bedroom.

**_So, yeah. Do you like it? Should I go on? Does it seem... I dunno. What d'you think? Review, oh pleasey please please, even if it's just a happy face or something._**


	13. Awkward

**_A/N: Okay, so I wrote this as an excuse to let you all know what's going on, because if I posted a 'chapter' with nothing but an update, it would be rather rude, wouldn't it? ANYWAY, I'm working on more of that fic, but my problem is I went to make a new story for it and I just sat there for like, fifteen minutes staring at the screen, wondering what the hell I was going to call it or what the hell it was going to be about. _**

**_So I'm enlisting your help. What should it be called? Do you even want it in a new story, or do you want me to keep it all here? AND FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?_**

**_Anyway. Enjoy this, and pretty please answer at least the second question?_**

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><p>"Hide me!" I yelped, practically bowling Sev over.<p>

"What, why?" he asked frantically.

"Never mind, just _hide me_!" I hissed, grabbing his hand and pulling him across the chilly courtyard. I leapt over a bench and dove into the bushes under one of the archways. Sev instantly fell onto the bench and pulled out a book.

I watched through the leaves as James Potter and his friends came running out into the courtyard, with James looking around eagerly and mussing up his hair. I fought hard not to retch at the sight. "Oi, Snivellus!" James called, and Sev looked up from his book innocently. "Haven't seen Evans, have you?"

"No, and if I had I wouldn't tell you," Sev said coolly. James looked like he wanted to retort, but after a moment he turned and ran back into the castle. I popped up from the bushes and scrambled to sit next to Sev, who chuckled and brushed some snow from my hair. "What'd the prat do this time?"

"Nothing, but… well, he's been pestering me to go to Hogsmeade with him for an age, and he doesn't leave me alone, it's terrible… oh shut up!" I cried, because Sev's chuckle had turned into a full-on laugh.

"You'd think a girl would be happy to go on a date with the rich Gryffindor Golden Boy," Sev said with a sneer.

"That's what all my friends say," I admitted, "but I'd sooner go to Hogsmeade with my lanky Slytherin best friend, unless you've gotten yourself a date of your own?"

Sev smirked. "As if, who in their right mind would find me even remotely attractive?"

"Are you saying I'm not in my right mind?" I asked playfully, twirling a strand of his hair in my fingers.

"You know what I meant. No-one would ask me out, I'm not that kind of a person."

"You're so daft, Sev, I'm pretty sure I did just that a moment ago!" I laughed, and we realized what I had said at the same time. It had almost sounded like I was asking him on a... Sev's eyes searched my face but I looked down, my cheeks flaming. "When did this get so awkward?" I asked quietly.

"Hell if I know," Sev muttered.

"I didn't mean like, a date, I meant…" I faltered when I saw distinct disappointment in Sev's eyes. "Unless you want it to be a date?"

"I – no, you don't want it to be, so…" Sev spluttered, his face getting more and more coloured.

"But what if I do?" The words dropped from my mouth before I could stop them, and now we were both blushing furiously. After a long, long moment, I spoke again in a tiny voice. "Can we start over?"

"What did that Potter git do this time?" Sev asked nonchalantly, even though his face was still pink. I smiled.

"Won't stop pestering me to go to Hogsmeade with him. Want to be my escort? It'll shut him up."

"Gladly."

The Hogsmeade trip found Sev and I in the very back of the Three Broomsticks, sitting at a table hidden from everyone else. It was a good thing, too – it was Valentine's Day, and the pub was packed with couples making goo-goo eyes and snogging. The sight was disgusting, but I couldn't help but notice that I recognized a good deal of the couples – Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom were sharing a Butterbeer, and Sirius Black was trying to charm a girl a year older than us.

"Earth to Lily," Sev said, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, I was just… distracted…" I said absently.

"I don't blame you. Seems like everyone is pairing up with everyone now," Sev muttered, casting a glance around the pub. He laughed darkly. "Does Black really think he has a chance with that fifth year?"

"'Course he does, he's a moron," I replied with a grin. "You know that I'm the only Gryffindor in my year that's never kissed anyone?"

"What about Potter?"

"No, he and Mary…" I giggled. "I won't say much, but it involved a game of spin the bottle at Slughorn's Christmas party. Mary loved it, of course."

Sev smirked. "You're not alone there. I've never so much as hugged a girl… besides you, of course."

"Poor Sev," I said with a sad smile, reaching across the table and taking his hand. He looked down at his pale fingers entwined with my freckled ones and he smiled slightly. His black eyes met my green ones, and for the first time I could see what everyone else told me they could – longing and love.

"Maybe… just to get it over with… we should just…" Sev trailed off and a red tinge began to creep up from his Slytherin scarf. My heart was beating a frantic tattoo against my ribs and an internal argument raged in my head.

_Just do it. But I've never – you'll figure it out! But he's my best friend… Exactly, now DO IT!_

I slid closer to Sev on the booth seat, and his free hand tilted my head up by the chin. I shivered ever so slightly at his touch, and when he pressed his lips against mine I found myself kissing him back.

"Sev?" I asked breathlessly after a moment, pulling away. He looked at me with his eyebrows knitted together. "Maybe… if you want… this _could_ be a date?"

Sev looked puzzled at first, but a second later he was beaming. "Trust me, Lily, I want," he said hurriedly, putting an arm around my shoulders. Blushing furiously but smiling happily, I hugged him close and took another swig of Butterbeer.

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><p><strong><em>Seriously though, I need to know. Because I'm really quite hopeless and I don't want to piss any of you lovely readers off.<em>**

**_Did I mention how dumbstruck I am that people actually like this? Because I'm pretty damn dumbstruck. Thank you all so much, you're all totally awesome._**


	14. IMPORTANT! READ ME!

_**This isn't a chapter.**_

_**Terribly sorry.**_

_**But I thought I'd let you all know...**_

.net/s/7326953/1/The_Lioness_and_the_Serpent

_**TA-DAAAAA!**_

_**I know, I know, the name is weak and the summary is worse than pathetic. Shut up. I'm fiddling with it still, so if anyone has ideas then feel free to message me. I have a very loose plot worked out in my brain, but I'm really just writing whatever the hell I feel like should happen. So I'm sorry in advance if there's any gaping plotholes, though I'll try to make there not be. **_

_**If that makes sense.**_

_**ANYWHO, yeah. There we have it, the full-length Snily fic in the making. I'll also be updating this with shtuff too though, so no worries. **_

_**The one place you'll get the most information about updating and progress and excerpts and all that good stuff is on my Tumblr. Which can be found HERE - .**_

_**I'm good at shameless self-promotion.**_

_**Right. So. Get over there and tell me what you think! What are you waiting for!**_

.net/s/7326953/1/The_Lioness_and_the_Serpent

_**Hope you guys like it!**_

_**~BRODi**_


	15. Snape's Best Memory

_**A chunk of this is slightly altered text from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix" - Snape's Worst Memory. S'not mine, it's Jo's.**_

_**Obviously, I'm not Jo. **_

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><p>I dipped my feet in the cool lake water, throwing back my head and laughing at something Mary had said. "One more to go!" she exclaimed, dropping into the grass beside me. Alice had gotten rid of her shoes and socks completely, hitching up her skirt and wading out into the shallows. With the most daunting OWL behind us, the entire fifth year seemed happier than we had been since the exams began.<p>

"Lily," Mary whispered. I glanced over at her and she smiled mischievously. "Remember what we agreed on?"

"We agreed that if we both get at least Exceeds Expectations on our Defense OWL we'll tell them the truth," I said evasively, not meeting Mary's gaze.

_ "Well?"_

"Well what? We've only just finished it!"

"Come on, Lily, you and I both know you got an Outstanding," Mary said, giving me a withering look.

"I wouldn't doubt it for a heartbeat," Alice called back.

"You aren't helping!" I replied, laughing nervously and beginning to blush.

Mary cackled. "Go on, Lil, he's just down the shore," she said, gesturing. I bit my lip and glanced over, and I immediately wished I hadn't. There he was a little ways away – and there they were, taunting him, hoisting him up into the air. "Go tell him… oh…" Mary's face fell when she realized what was happening.

"I'm sorry, Mary, but I have to stop him," I growled. I knew how much Mary fancied Potter, but when it came to Sev I had to defend him no matter what. Mary only nodded mutely and I got to my feet, storming over to where the Marauders were taunting my best friend. I watched as a jet of light hit Sev, as his mouth and nose filled with pink soap bubbles…

"Leave him ALONE!" I screeched. James and Sirius's heads snapped towards me. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair, and I fought not to sneer.

"All right, Evans?" said Potter pleasantly.

"Leave him alone," I said again, glaring at Potter with as much hatred as I could muster. "What's he ever done to you?"

"Well," said Potter, sounding almost thoughtful, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

The crowd gathered around us laughed, Black and Wormtail included, but Remus buried his nose in a book and I set my jaw.

"You think you're funny," I said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." I stared at the Gryffindor in disbelief – was he really still after me, even after all the hints Mary had been dropping about fancying him and after all the hints _I_ had been dropping about hating every fiber of his being?

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," I snarled.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black with a shrug, turning back to Sev. "OI!"

He had made his way over to where his wand lay in the grass and pointed it at Potter. There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of his face, spattering his robes with blood. Potter turned: a second flash of light later, Sev was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants. I almost smiled, but remembered that it was Sev being tortured and I swallowed and looked away, feeling my cheeks turn pink.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Potter, Black and Wormtail roared with laughter.

"Put him down _now_," I said evenly.

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Sev fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. I resisted the urge to run to fall into the grass beside him. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said, '_Petrificus Totalus!_' and Sev kneeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I shouted, more than fed up. I yanked out my own wand and noticed Potter and Black eyeing it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Sev and muttered the counter-curse. I sighed in relief.

"There you go," he said, as Sev struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Sev roared.

I took half a step backwards. He may as well have slapped me; I could feel tears stinging at my eyes. I almost wanted to throw up. "Sev," I choked, and comprehension dawned in his eyes as he scrambled to speak. I made myself regain my composure – though I probably did a terrible job of it.

"Fine," I said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Lily, I -"

"Apologise to Evans!" Potter snarled, his wand pointed threateningly at Sev.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologise," I shouted, rounding on Potter. I was grateful for a distraction from the fear and sorrow in Sev's eyes. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped Potter. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

I almost lost it and hexed him right then and there. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK," I spat. "Get out of my sight."

"Evans…!"

"_Get lost!"_ I snarled. After a moment's hesitation, the crowd dispersed and the Marauders followed, moving somewhere farther down the lake shore. I turned to Sev slowly, my eyes burning again. "Sev," I whispered, and I sounded positively heartbroken. I_ felt _positively heartbroken. I knew that his house mates were trying to rope him in to something horrible, but I had never thought he would give in.

"Lily…" he said hoarsely, taking a step towards me. I took a step away.

"And to think… you know why I came over here in the first place, Sev?" I said icily. "I came over here to confess to you that _I love you._ To confess that I've loved you since third year, and fancied you since first. You were my everything, Sev, you were my best friend and my first kiss." Now that I had started, I found it hard to stop, and I could hear emotion creeping back into my voice. "Do you remember that? Remember how we did it just to get it over with and to see what it'd be like? That day I went back to my dormitory and I realized that I didn't like you or fancy you, that I loved you to the end of the world and back. I decided that one day I'd tell you, that one day we'd live happily ever after. And what did I get for finally telling you, huh?" I couldn't hold back anymore; the tears spilled over and poured down my cheeks. "I get insulted with the worst thing you can think of, and I lose you."

"You aren't losing me," Sev said, practically gagging the words. I could see that he was trying desperately not to cry as well.

"Yes I am, Sev," I said with a bitter little smile. "Because you're running off to be a Death Eater, aren't you? And how am I supposed to fit into that? In case you haven't noticed, their main goal is to kill filthy little mudbloods like me."

"Don't say it," Sev said jerkily, closing his eyes.

"You said it."

"And I want to drown myself in the lake for it!" Sev said hotly. "You have no idea how sorry I am, Lily…"

"I don't want to hear it," I interrupted. "And to be honest I don't think I can. I loved you so much, Sev, but -"

"Lily, I've always loved you!" Sev exploded. "_I've _loved _you_ since the day we met, I still do and I probably always will! And I promise you, the last thing I want is to be part of the Death Eaters. I'll get out, I'll do anything, I can't lose you…"

And then, right before me – and the dozen-odd students milling about pretending like they weren't watching the scene play out – Severus Snape broke down and sobbed, dropping to his knees on the grass and burying his face in his hands. Severus Snape the cynic, Severus Snape the sarcastic, Severus Snape the boy who always seemed so confident and in control and reserved… losing it completely on the lawn in front of everyone.

I watched with my mouth hanging open, the surprise at his display chasing all other thoughts out of my head. I fell onto the ground beside him and gathered him into my arms, kissing his hair and rocking back and forth. We sat there for a long time, Sev's tears showing no sign of slowing. "You're going to make yourself sick," I said plainly. I lifted Sev away from me and gave him a weak smile. "I can deal with tears all over my robes, but vomit is a whole different story."

After a moment, Sev took a deep breath. "Now what?"

I pressed my lips together, studying the boy in front of me. Underneath the wariness, my heart was beating fast and furious as I remembered what he had said._ He loves me… and I still love him so much…_

"You're getting out of the Death Eaters?" I asked slowly.

"Absolutely," Sev said, and I knew he was telling the truth.

A tiny smile crept across my face, this one genuine. "You know, mudblood is really just a stupid name," I mused.

"Don't say it, Lily."

"Shut up, Sev." The boy in question gave me a ghost of a smile.

"I love you, Lily."

"Kiss me, Sev."

In a heartbeat, I had my arms around him and he had a hand in my hair and another at my back, holding me close. He lowered me to lie on the lawn and I laughed against his lips when his hand trailed down, tickling the hollow of my neck. Dimly, I wondered what my friends would be thinking… what anyone would think, really… but then he deepened the kiss, easing my mouth open with his tongue, and I kissed him back fervently, all other thoughts banished from my mind.

Sev pulled away after a minute and I found myself lost in his onyx eyes, breathing heavily. Sev glanced away for only a moment before his gaze returned to mine. "Macdonald is staring," he said softly. "All your friends are staring."

"I don't doubt it. I wouldn't doubt that the entire school is staring," I said with a little laugh, taking a fist full of his robes and using them to pull myself into a sitting position and to pull his lips to mine again. "I should really go though, they're waiting on me."

"Wouldn't want to keep the lionesses waiting," Sev murmured, still kissing along my jaw. It took a monumental effort not to snog him again.

"Especially not Mary, she's going to pounce on me as soon as she can, and she's never going to let this go." I began to get to my feet, but not before I gave him one quick kiss. "I'll see you at dinner, Sev," I said, winking. Surprised at my own daring, I returned to my friends with a skip in my step and a stupid grin on my face.

"Oh my god, Lily!" Mary exclaimed as soon as I had sat down beside her. I knew that I was blushing, but I shook my head and said nothing. There was an almightly splash as Alice, who was still out in the shallows, collapsed in a fit of giggles. "What the hell did you say?"

"Uhm… I saved his ass from Potter… he called me a mudblood... and we made out a little bit?"

By now Alice was positively screaming in laughter and I would have joined in if it weren't for the look on Mary's face. "Sorry, he called you a _what?_"

"Oh, a mudblood," I said nonchalantly, watching as Mary's expression grew more horrified. "No big deal, really." Mary looked at me incredulously for a moment longer before shaking her head.

"Only you, Lily," she said in exasperation, and I couldn't help giving in to Alice's contagious laughter after that.

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><p><strong><em>I feel so accomplished; I got this done, a chapter for The Lioness and the Serpent up, a few chapters for my original books AND I've gained a whole new obsession, all in one day! (coughDOCTORWHOcough)<em>**

**_Okay, maybe not one day. 'Cause, you know, it's four-thirty in the morning._**

**_But still._**

**_You like?_**

**_OH! By the way, I drew a picture :3 I'm not much of an artist, clearly, but it's supposed to be all the main characters that I use - so, Sev, Lily, James, Mary, Alice, Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew. You can see it here... .com/post/9494689833/sorry-about-your-eyes-im-no-artist-and-im _**

**_As you can see, Pottermore put me in Slytherin. It was unexpected, to say the least._**

**_I'll shut up now, sorry._**


	16. Muggles

Severus rocked back and forth on the swings, waiting patiently in the late afternoon warmth. It wasn't long before a voice cried his name and he turned. Lily was running down the sidewalk, beaming, her flaming hair trailing behind her. Severus smiled at her as she dropped into the swing next to him.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Severus asked, amused.

"Remember that Muggle boy that lives down the street… Jeremy?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"Sort of. Mousy-haired kid?"

"Uh-huh." If Lily had been beaming before, she was positively glowing now. "Well he's just asked me to go to the movies with him tonight!"

Severus's heart dropped like a stone. "Like, a date?" he asked, his mouth suddenly very dry. Lily nodded vigorously and Severus tried to look happy. It wasn't easy, considering he felt as though she had punched him in the stomach._ You're being stupid, Severus. She's fourteen and beautiful, someone was bound to ask her out sometime… _He couldn't help but scowl a little. _I never thought she'd say yes._

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, her face falling. Severus glanced up at her and put on another smile.

"Nothing, I – that's great, Lily," he lied. Lily studied him, her brow furrowed.

"Was that a hint of jealousy I saw?" she asked playfully, but in her head she was dying to know. She had never expected to see her best friend jealous over anything, especially her. And as much as it confused her and as much as she didn't want to, she liked it.

"No," Severus said, a little too quickly. "No, I'm happy for you, really."

Lily frowned at him. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Severus said, scrabbling to pull himself back together. "So what movie are you seeing?"

Some of the sparkle returned to Lily's eyes. "The new one out about wizards," she said with a laugh. "It should be interesting, all things considered… I think we're going around seven."

Severus checked the battered watch around his wrist. "You should get going, shouldn't you?" he said, his voice sounding too cheery and casual. A crease appeared between Lily's eyebrows and she nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"No, go," Severus said. "I have to get home anyway. Uh… have fun, I guess." He stood up quickly, awkwardly. Lily gave him a sad smile.

"Sure. See you tomorrow?" she asked, and Severus nodded mutely. He watched her go until she turned the corner and walked out of sight, and then he swore and kicked the pole of the swing set. He rifled in his pockets and found fifteen pounds in Muggle money. Hoping it would be enough, he set off running towards the nearest bus station.

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><p>Severus settled himself in a seat at the very back of the theater, where he had a perfect view of the back of Lily's head. The Muggle was sitting next to her, talking and smiling, but as far as Severus could tell Lily wasn't really talking back. That had to be a good sign.<p>

He had never been to the cinema, but he could tell right away that the movie wasn't very good. The wizards all reminded him of Dumbledore in their purple cloaks and long beards, and he couldn't help but snort aloud when they 'cast spells'. It was almost a relief when the credits rolled on screen; even more so when he saw Lily looking distinctly unhappy.

On his way back to Spinner's End he deliberately passed by Lily's house, even if it was out of the way. Severus was a little surprised to see her standing in the doorway with a smirk plastered onto her face, leaning up against the frame.

"That movie was pretty stupid, wasn't it Sev?" she called innocently, and Sev stopped short.

"I don't know what you mean," he replied evenly, but his eyes gave it away. Lily giggled and closed the door behind her, running down the driveway to join him.

"You're a terrible actor," she said kindly, brushing a lock of hair off his face. "But you'll be happy to know that Jeremy isn't very interesting at all."

Triumph roared in Sev's heart, but he tried to smother it. "I don't…" he started to say again, but Lily stopped him with a finger.

"Alice was right," she mused, smiling faintly. Alice Prewett had insisted to her all through third year that Severus had fancied her, but Lily had never believed her friend until now. Severus blushed and Lily giggled again. "Well I've tried going on a Muggle date, maybe now I'll have to try a wizard one."

Severus's eyebrows shot up his head, his heart racing. "Really?" he asked, not daring to believe what she had said. Lily grinned and kissed his cheek close to the corner of his mouth.

"'Night, Sev," she said, and Severus thought he caught the tiniest of winks before she turned and went back into the house. He stood there for a long time afterward, savoring the moment. When his watch beeped ten he finally turned away, smiling to himself, and walked back to Spinner's End happier than he had been in weeks.

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><p><em><strong>AN: I know, I know, it's short. Sorry, but I felt like I was neglecting this fic and I'd sooner post something short than nothing at all...**_


	17. After OWLs

Severus slipped back into the Slytherin common room, sniffling and crossing his fingers that he'd be able to slip past everyone and be alone in the dormitory. To his dismay, all his friends were sitting by the fire and one called him over.

"Hey, Snape, come here – what happened to you?" Mulicber demanded, looking surprised.

"Oh, no, nothing," Severus said quickly, using the sleeve of his robes to wipe away a renegade tear. He had done everything he could to hold back his tears on the way to the common room, but he was sure that he couldn't last much longer – the sooner he was alone, the better.

"What's got you all weepy, Snape?" Avery pressed, and a few of the boys were smirking. "Come on, sit down and tell your friends all about it…" He patted the couch beside him, pretending to look sympathetic.

"You aren't my friends," Severus snapped, and the boys' expressions turned to shock. "I shouldn't have ever been your friend, you lost me the one thing in the world that I love and I _hate_ you for it."

"Do yourself a favour, Snape, and shut the hell up," Mulicber said dangerously. "You don't want us as your enemy."

"She hates me," Severus choked, and now the tears were coming and he couldn't stop them. "She hates me because of you; I'll gladly be your enemy. I'll gladly die now; what else do I have to live for?"

"Is this about that mudblood?" Mulicber growled.

"Don't!" Severus roared, pulling out his wand and pointing it threatening at the boy. "Don't call her that ever again!"

"You know what, Snape, you should be getting up to bed," Avery said quietly, but his features were twisted in a scowl. "Before we do something that we don't want to do."

Severus looked at the boys, and slowly he lowered his wand. He hesitated only a moment, making sure that they weren't about to hex him before he ran up to the dormitory. As soon as he was there he ripped the hangings around his bed shut, casting charms so that no-one could hear him or open them again. Then, he flung himself down on the bed, fully dressed, and cried himself to sleep for the first time in years.

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><p>He woke early, intending to get up to breakfast before any of the other boys could heckle him. His robes were rumpled and his hair was a mess, but he hardly cared. <em>Because if there's no Lily to impress anymore, why should I make an effort? <em>He thought bitterly, breezing across the deserted common room.

As soon as he stepped into the corridor, his eyes fell on a girl slumped against the wall – one with fiery hair and Gryffindor robes. "Lily!" he gasped, falling to kneel next to her. His knees cracked painfully on the stone floor but he hardly noticed; he tilted her head up with one hand and brushed the hair off her face.

Lily's eyes flickered open and her lips twisted into a small smile when she saw Severus. "Morning," she said, breaking into a jaw cracking yawn. Severus sat back on his heels, gaping.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"I wanted to talk to you," she said quietly. She wanted to reach out and hug him, to tell him everything – but it was too soon.

"We could have talked last night," Severus pointed out, no matter how much it hurt. Lily's eyes filled with tears.

"I know, I'm sorry, I was just angry and stupid…"

"You're Lily Evans, it's not possible for you to be stupid," Sev said with a little laugh, and he could feel his eyes stinging with tears of his own. Lily smirked and wiped away her tears with her sleeve

"Sev?" she said in a tiny voice. "I forgive you, you know."

Severus couldn't have been more surprised if she turned into a three headed dragon. "You… really?"

"Mmhmm. It was Alice who talked me round, really…" Lily edged closer to him and took his hand, smiling up at the Slytherin.

_She had been sobbing into her pillow for a good half hour, and all her friends were sitting around trying to comfort her. _

_ "Lily, don't think I'm being insensitive, I just don't understand… isn't it just a silly name?" Alice said tentatively. "I mean, it's stupid, really. Why are you letting it bother you so much?"_

_ "Because he…" Lily sat up and looked at her through watery eyes. "You know how much I love him, Al. What am I supposed to do when my best friend calls me the worst name he could think of?"_

_ Alice sighed. "You're really quite daft sometimes, you know that?" she said exasperatedly. "You've got all of us, and other friends as well. Snape has you and you alone – don't argue, those Slytherin prats aren't his friends. Do you really think he would willingly give up his only friend? I'll bet you anything he was too pissed at Potter to realize what he said until it was too late."_

_ "It's not just the name; it's what it stands for!" Lily said angrily. "How can I be friends with someone in a group hell-bent on killing everyone like me?"_

_ "Look, I know Snape. I know you don't think so, but I do – we all do. We see the way he looks at you… like you're the most beautiful girl in the world, like you're more important than anything."_

_ "What's that supposed to -" _

_ "He loves you, Lily!" Alice laughed. "Honestly, you'd have to be blind not to see it. And if he loves you as much as I know he does, he's gonna go back to that common room and start thinking of ways to get you back. And d'you know what's going to be on the top of that list? Ignoring those Death Eater wannabes once and for all."_

_ Lily swallowed, looking around at her friends. "Normally I hate it when you're right," she said with a little laugh, getting up, "but I'm really glad you are this time."_

"What were you doing here then?" Severus asked.

"Oh, I slept out here… I didn't mean to, really, I figured you'd come out sooner or later because when you're upset you always go hide away in some broom closet -" Severus laughed - "but you never did and I sort of nodded off." She stretched and groaned. "Ugh, it was horribly uncomfortable too – the things I do for you!"

"Why _do_ you do it then?" Severus said with an incredulous little smile. He had always wondered why Lily put up with him and all his flaws. Lily looked at him closely. _Here we go…_

"Because I love you, Sev," she said with a tiny shrug, acting like it wasn't a big deal even though her cheeks were flaming. "I can't help it, but I do."

Severus stared at her, his mind numb. "Can I…?" he said jerkily, unable to finish his sentence.

"Can you what?" Lily asked, puzzled.

_Oh, sod it,_ Severus thought, and he took her bright red face in his hands and kissed her. Her heart fluttering like mad, she kissed him back, fighting not to break into a stupid grin. As soon as they came apart her resistance crumbled and she giggled, the sound echoing up and down the corridor.

"Come on, let's go up to breakfast," Severus said after a moment, smiling broadly. Lily got to her feet along with him and laced her fingers through his, squeezing his hand once before winking.

"I'll race you there!" she said with a laugh, and the fifth-years broke into a run.

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><p><em><strong>Why am I so terrible at endings? Uggh. <strong>_

_**Working on "The Lioness and the Serpent" right now, in case there's anyone reading both. I just have to get past this one little bit; I've actually changed quite a bit and gone back on myself and rewritten things. I had to, it didn't feel right otherwise.**_

_**ANYWAY.**_


	18. Objections

_**A/N: I feel like I don't update this enough, and I'm sorry. My other fic is updated more often... don't worry, I'm not giving up on you though! This one is kind of short and fluffy... **_

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><p>"If anyone in this room objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace."<p>

For one wild second, the man standing in front of me wasn't James Potter. For one wild second, his hair was longer and slightly greasier, his skin was sallow, his nose was hooked and his eyes were coal black. And for one wild second, I liked it. But then the eyes were hazel, hidden behind round-rimmed glasses and framed by combed, short black hair. I was marrying James. This was it. What else was I supposed to do, really? James was rich and handsome, everyone knew who the Potters were. He was the most sought-after boy at Hogwarts and now he was the most sought-after man I knew, and it should have been almost an honor to marry him. And with the only other boy I could have loved out of the picture, James seemed an obvious choice.

There was an outbreak of muttering from the crowd, and I glanced over my shoulder. Whispers were spreading like wildfire, and heads were turning towards one guest sitting in the very back of the room. Slowly, nervously, the man stood up.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sirius growled from James's side.

"I object," said Severus Snape.

I took him in with wide eyes. He looked the same as ever. When his gaze met mine he swallowed and shrugged off the jacket he was wearing, revealing a button-up t-shirt. Never, in all the years I had known him, had he wore a t-shirt - but that wasn't what made my breath catch in my throat.

Both his forearms were bare.

"Sev," I gasped, and suddenly I was beaming.

"Lily!" James said, his voice strangled, but I was already moving. Sev stepped out into the aisle and then I was running, barely avoiding tripping over the hem of my dress. I flung my arms around him, bouquet and all, and kissed him full on the mouth.

There were more than a few indignant squawks and the muttering had turned into full on talk. I pulled away from Sev, breathing heavily. His eyes showed nothing but love. "You're not a Death Eater," I whispered.

"I'm not a Death Eater," he agreed.

"I love you, Severus. I've wanted to say that for years."

"I love you, Lily. I've always loved you."

"Oi!" I tore my gaze away from Sev and saw James storming down the aisle. "Get your paws off my wife, Snivellus!"

"I'm not your wife, James, and I never will be," I said sharply. James staggered back, looking like I had slapped him. "I love Sev. I'm sorry."

"Lily…" Sev began to say, but I muted his words with my mouth.

"Let's go," I breathed.

"Where?"

"Anywhere we want," I replied, taking Sev's warm hand in mine. And together we ran from the church, Sev's joyous laughter covering up a heartbroken wail from James and cries of protest from the guests. I threw a glance back over my shoulder and I was shocked to see Petunia leading the crowd running after us – and she was grinning from ear to ear.

"Take good care of my sister, Severus!" she cried, and I giggled.

"Where are we running?" Sev asked as we pounded across the street.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, and Disapparated.

We re-appeared on a grassy hill that dipped down into the sea. Behind us sat a quaint little cottage. "It was the first place that popped into my head… it's our summer home, we're out by Blackpool," I explained.

Sev wrinkled his hooked nose. "Smells like fish," he commented. I laughed and hit his shoulder.

"You're so negative."

"Are not."

"Are too." I stuck my tongue out at him and then laughed. "I've missed you, Sev."

"I've missed you far more," he assured me, putting one hand at the small of my back and pulling me close. "You look beautiful, by the way. Potter doesn't deserve you."

"He won't get me."

"And I will?"

"I certainly hope so," I said slyly, and Sev's lips came crushing down on mine.

We arrived back in my neighborhood two days later, and now James's engagement ring was gone, to be replaced by a slightly less elaborate one from Sev. As soon as I opened the door to my house, Petunia came running at me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thank god, Lily, that Potter boy was a prat," she exclaimed. "At least Severus is a gentleman…"

"Thank-you, Petunia," Sev said, clearly surprised at the compliment.

Mum seemed just as happy with my choice as Petunia. "You really are the talk of the town right now. Still, it was good… better to have you two running off in the middle of the wedding than the two of you sneaking around behind that boy's back."

"Mum!" I exclaimed, embarrassed, and Sev roared with laughter.

"We all knew you two would end up together, dear, even if you didn't realize it until it was almost too late."

Alice, as usual, squealed.

"That was _so romantic_!" she gushed. "I can't help but feel sorry for Potter, but a pretty big part of me wanted to cheer when Sev stood up…"

Mary was grinning. "You're going to think I'm a bitch, but thanks. Now maybe I can have a shot at Potter, hm?"

Remus was the only Marauder who would talk to me; indeed, he was the only one I wanted to talk to at all. "James is really cut up about it, he hasn't left his house in days… Sirius is over there now, trying to get him out of bed. But I'm happy for you Lily, really I am. I just wish we hadn't been such asses to Severus back in school; maybe then this all could have been avoided."

Before I knew it, I was back in a dress, back at the church, standing under the altar once again. But this time around, the minister actually spoke the words – "You may now kiss the bride" – and it really was Sev standing in front of me, pulling me into a long, fervent kiss. And I kissed him back, and finally everything felt perfect.

* * *

><p><em><strong>This was actually all very random, I just kinda hit my palms on the keyboard and watched the words form. So yeah.<strong>_


	19. Flying

_**A/N: I'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates... apparently Muggle high school thinks it's funny to eat up all my time. I'm trying though, I really am, but I tend to get an idea and immediately go, "derp, that'd fit perfectly into The Lioness and the Serpent!" and then I don't put it here. 'Cause I'm an idiot. Forgive me?**_

_**Anywho, here you go.**_

* * *

><p>The redheaded girl sidled up to the Slytherin, a mischievous smile curled across her freckled face.<p>

"Sev," she said quietly. "I want to show you something."

"What?" Severus replied, hardly even looking up. Lily scowled and closed his book right on his fingers. Severus pretended to wince and Lily laughed.

"Come on, when someone says they want to show you something they aren't going to tell you!" she exclaimed, tugging at his sleeve. Severus rolled his eyes dramatically but willingly followed her out of the Great Hall. He couldn't say no to Lily.

"So, remember our first flying lesson?" she asked innocently, and instantly Severus groaned.

"How could I forget? I had gone just high enough to dislocate my arm after Potter jinxed me." He scowled at the memory.

They trooped out onto the grounds; the sky was painted with oranges and pinks and purples in the dusk and the air was just beginning to get chilly. It was nearing the end of September of their fourth year. Severus strode along beside Lily but he faltered after a moment, noticing where they were going.

"Lily…" he moaned, and she turned around and rolled her eyes.

"Come _on,_ Sev," she whined, grabbing his hand. She noticed the distinct change of colour in her best friend's cheeks when her fingers slipped between his. She giggled a little but continued to tow him down to the Quidditch pitch.

Severus groaned again when he saw the two broomsticks sitting in the grass by the massive goal hoops. "You've got to be kidding me," he grumbled. Lily dropped his hand and went to retrieve the broomsticks, thrusting one into his arms.

"Nope." Severus's eyes were dark and he was looking at the broom with a mixture of reluctance and – Lily hardly believed it – excitement. "Go on, Sev, it'll be fun. Please?" she pretended to pout and bat her eyelashes and Severus gave a tight little laugh. Just as she knew he would.

After a moment's hesitation he kicked his leg over the broomstick. Lily beamed and mounted her own, lifting a foot or so into the air. Severus looked up at her, and for once she couldn't read what he was thinking – and then he was twenty feet above her, laughing heartily.

Astonished, Lily pulled her broom up, but Severus had taken off in a low, fast lap around the pitch. Lily giggled again and zoomed after him, the evening air stinging her skin.

"Since when can you fly?" she demanded once she had caught up. Severus smirked and began to climb; Lily spiraled up after him.

"Once, when I was very young – maybe four or five – mum snuck me out of the house," he said, his dark eyes dancing with mirth. "She took me to a friend's house… I forget who, but her older sons took me out back and let me ride their broomstick. And it was the easiest thing in the world for me, I loved it."

Lily gaped at him. "Well why didn't you ever -"

"Because Potter would never let me, would he?" Severus said with a bitter little smile. "The second I left the air, there he was and I went falling back to the ground. I was afraid, really."

"You were _afraid?_" Lily asked, incredulous. As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. "That's not what I meant," she assured him quickly, her face reddening. "It's just…"

_"You're Sev, and you aren't afraid of anything?"_ Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. Lily relaxed – she could tell that he was more amused than hurt. "Everyone's afraid of something, Lil."

Lily coaxed her broom forwards and they began moving lazily around the pitch. "You're going to laugh," she said, "but the thing I've feared for years now is losing you."

"Me? What's so special about me?" Severus asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as eager as he felt. Lily gave an embarrassed sort of smile and flew closer to him so that their elbows brushed against each other.

"Everything," she admitted.

Severus wasn't sure where this was going but he was going to milk it for all it was worth. "Everything? There must be one thing you don't like. I bet it's my nose," he added as an afterthought, crossing his eyes to look at it. Lily laughed.

"I happen to love your nose," she said, tweaking it affectionately. She was sincerely grateful for the fact that night was falling and it was harder to see her crimson cheeks. "And your voice and your hair and your laugh and your eyes, and your seldom-given hugs and…" she trailed off then. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all.

"And?" Severus prompted, his heart beating in his throat.

Lily sighed. "And your kiss," she said in a strangled voice.

"My kiss," Severus repeated tonelessly.

"Yes. Remember at the end of first year when I was going to get into my mum's car and you were to get in yours? You kissed me on the cheek then."

Severus's face was still blank as he tried to process the sudden change in their conversation. "I did. And every year after that I'd kiss you before we went our separate ways, even if we would see each other the very next day."

"Not a real kiss though," Lily said softly, and Severus very nearly fell off his broomstick. Surely that wasn't _longing _in her voice, was it?

By then, Lily's pulse was racing. _You're being stupid, _a tiny voice protested. _You've gone and scared him off, haven't you? Being stupid._

"Not a real kiss," he agreed, his voice strained. Lily met his eyes and there it was – what was now an all-too-familiar fluttering in her chest and an almost hungry gnawing in her stomach. She wasn't sure how long they had hovered there, less than a foot apart, their eyes locked together. It could have been a few seconds or it could have been a few hours, but at one point or another Severus began to move, leaning forwards ever so slightly. Her restraint and her patience snapped like twigs; she closed the distance between them, grabbing his shoulders and pressing her lips against his. For a full five seconds he stared forwards with wide eyes, before snaking his fingers into her hair and kissing her back.

When they finally came apart, Severus was barely staying upright on his broom; his head was spinning and his heart was pounding. Lily gave him a tiny smile that was almost grateful. There was a long silence before she spoke again. "Come on, I'll race you round the pitch one last time."

They took off then, swerving and diving and looping and weaving through the air, the wind whipping away the heat in Lily's cheeks but not the goofy smile on her lips. They flew for a little while longer before Severus reminded her that it wouldn't be long before curfew. They returned to the ground and put their brooms back in the shed.

They hesitated for a moment in the entrance hall, where they would have to go their separate ways. Lily grinned and kissed Severus's cheek. "G'night, Sev," she said happily. Severus beamed down at her, watching her go up the stairs until she disappeared from sight.

"Goodnight, Lil."


	20. Mistletoe Berries

The doorbell echoed through the house, and Lily Evans jumped to her feet, beaming, a half-opened present falling from her lap. She didn't notice her sister's sneer or the knowing look shared by her parents – instead she ran to the front hall and pulled the door open.

"Happy Christmas, Sev," she cried, hugging the black-haired boy.

"Happy Christmas, Lils. You've got a bow in your hair." He reached up to her head and plucked a blue gift wrap bow off her dark red hair. Lily smiled, took it from his hands and stuck it to his hooked nose. He crossed his eyes to stare at it and she giggled, pulling it off his face and letting it fall to the floor.

"Come on, we're just in the middle of opening presents!" she said happily, taking his hand.

Severus sincerely hoped his expression didn't betray his happiness at such a small gesture. "I wouldn't want to interrupt…"

"What's the alternative, leaving you out on the steps?" Lily towed him into the living room, where her parents smiled warmly at Severus.

"Happy Christmas, dear. We're so glad you could come," Mrs. Evans said. _Anywhere is better than Spinner's End, _Severus thought bitterly, but he ignored it and gave the woman a grateful look.

Lily sat back on the couch and picked up her fallen gift, patting the cushion beside her. Severus sat, feeling distinctly awkward as he watched Lily tear open the Muggle radio from her parents. Even though he had spent the last six Christmases with the Evanses, he still felt like he was intruding.

As if she was reading his mind, Lily smiled encouragingly at her friend. "Come on, Sev, as far as we're concerned you're family. Relax." Petunia made a little disparaging noise and Lily scowled at her. "Here, I know what'll make you feel better." She hurried over to the tree and returned with a box wrapped in green and silver. Severus's eyes widened but before he could speak Lily thrust the gift into his hands and covered his lips with a finger. "It's Christmas, I can't _not _give you a present. Don't protest, or I'll jinx you."

"You would not."

"I would too, and you know it." Lily grinned and watched Severus open her present. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline at the sight of the copy of Advanced Potion-Making and the number of ingredients crammed into the box. "It took me ages to find the unicorn horn, the apothecary was running short… and the book is for next year."

"It's perfect," Severus breathed. Lily beamed again when Severus gave her a rare hug. "Here…" he dug in his pocket and procured a simple, small box. Now it was Lily's eyes widening.

"Severus Snape, are you asking me to marry you?" she teased. Severus smiled.

"You wish," he retorted, and they both turned a light shade of pink. He popped the box open and Lily broke into a broad grin at the sight of the band on the little pillow. She took it out and, at a closer look, she realized it was a little silver snake wrapped into a ring, its chin on its tail, complete with two little green gemstone eyes.

"Sev, it's _gorgeous,_" Lily gushed, slipping the ring onto her finger. She couldn't help that it looked right there – a ring from Severus on the fourth finger of her right hand… instantly embarrassed, she shoved the thought away and embraced her friend, perhaps staying in his arms a little longer than she usually would.

Severus spent the entire day at the Evans's, eagerly devouring Mrs. Evans's cooking and talking football with her husband. He enjoyed himself, but even if he hadn't it would have been worth it to spend the day with Lily. The day only got better when her parents allowed him to spend the night on an air mattress on Lily's bedroom floor. That night, both fifteen-year-olds could be found in the smallest bedroom, sitting cross-legged on the bed, poring over the potions kit.

"Unbelievable! I buy you a present and in a matter of hours you're scribbling all over it!" Lily laughed.

"Not scribbling," Severus muttered, his black eyes darting across the page. He took the quill out from between his teeth and made a dark scratch through step five of the Draught of Peace, penning something in the margin in his tight, cramped script. _"Correcting."_

Lily rolled her eyes but gave her friend an affectionate smile. After a moment she began to fiddle with her own present, spinning the ring around her finger. "I love Christmas every year," she mused, "but I figure this one takes the cake."

"Does it?" Severus asked mildly.

"I think so." Lily rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her fists, leaning forwards. Severus half glanced up, and then his eyes snapped onto hers when he saw how close they were. Lily gave a tiny, embarrassed smirk and looked away, down to the potions kit between them – namely, the jar labeled "mistletoe berries". Her smirk became a grin and her face turned dark pink for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Wha – oh." Severus's gaze fell on the jar as well and he looked back at Lily. Not for the first time, she saw a sort of pained longing in his eyes – but this time she could feel the same look entering her own green eyes, saw the surprise and wary excitement flicker across his face.

"Mistletoe," she said softly.

"Technically they're just the berries."

"Come off it, Sev." Lily gave him a shy smile, leaned forwards even more and pressed her lips onto his. Neither of them had any experience in the field of kissing, but it seemed to come naturally to both. When they broke apart, Lily's heart was racing and her cheeks were scarlet. Severus just looked dazed.

"Actually," she said breathlessly, "This is _definitely_ the best Christmas."

one year later

She had insisted on spending the Christmas holidays at Hogwarts that year. She had told her parents how she would have fun with her friends in the snow-covered grounds and how she would eat at the magnificent feast, and they had agreed. And there she was, late at night on Christmas Eve, furiously brewing anything to keep herself busy.

Lily couldn't stop her mind drifting back almost a year, to Christmas night at her house. With Severus. She scowled at the boy in question, at the memory – hell, at everything that was going on – and pulled herself back to the present, registering for the first time the ingredient in her hand._ Go figure._ Memories of Severus Snape that she had tried so hard to smother came rushing back to her and with a barely-stifled snarl she hurled the mistletoe berries across the dungeons, bombarding a Slytherin who had just walked into the room.

"I know you hate my greasy guts but I don't really think there's reason to pelt me with berries," he said dryly. Lily swallowed and met the eyes of her old best friend. Severus gave her a weak, half-hearted smile. "What are you doing down here on Christmas Eve?"

Lily stared at him for a few moments longer before giving a strangled sigh. "I don't know, I'm just…" she drank in the sight of him and felt a familiar surge of sadness. "When did everything go wrong, Sev? Why can't we be best friends again, the little kids sprawled in the park without a care in the world?"

A crease appeared between Severus's eyebrows and he moved towards her, giving an involuntary movement as though he meant to hug her but decided against it. _After all, it's not like you're friends anymore. Not after your stupid outburst after the Defense OWL… _Lily smiled joylessly and leaned against the work bench. They gazed at each other a long time.

"Merlin, I miss you," she said finally, her voice hoarse. "I loved things the way they used to be… hell, I loved you. I just want one day – one day, is that too much to ask? – I want us to be _us _again, you know?"

With that, as the grandfather clock in Slughorn's adjoining office chimed midnight, Severus gathered her in his arms and kissed her.

And she kissed him back.

"Look, Lily," Severus said seriously after they had broken apart and regained their breath. "I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how it's going to turn out in the end. But for now… one day, right?"

Lily nodded, her eyes never leaving his. "And maybe… maybe we can go from there?" There was an almost pathetic amount of pleading in her voice, but she hardly cared.

"Maybe," Severus agreed. Both knew it was a lie. Both knew that come Boxing Day they would be strangers all over again – different houses, different worlds. But both of them knew that one day… well, it wouldn't be enough, it would never be enough, but it was _something._

So they kissed again.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Just in case any of you read my other fic as well - terribly sorry for the short chapter and the slow updates. I'm a turd, I know, you've every right to hate me. I'm working on it, truly I am (that's what math class is for, right?) but suddenly I'm editor and club rep and I've got homework and lots of Doctor Who to catch up on. But I swear to Merlin I won't abandon you! I STILL LOVE YOU!<em>**

**_'course, I love you even if you don't read that fic, because that means you're reading this one. Which is just as totally awesome. _**

**_Basically what I'm trying to say is I love all my readers and I'm not going to abandon any of you. MEOW!_**


	21. A Hog for a Father

The sun had barely gotten past its highest point, and already Lily was sweltering in the August heat. Cicadas sang, the sound sharp in her ears, and she rocked back and forth on the swing set, waiting.

Waiting for Sev… for Severus Snape, who had been her best friend for nearly four years. He had been the one who first told her she was a witch, and ever since they had been inseparable - even at Hogwarts, where they had been forced apart by house rivalry. They were about to enter their third year at the school, and Lily liked to believe that this would be the year people finally let the tension between Gryffindor and Slytherin die.

Of course, she had hoped for the same thing a year ago.

"Lily!" a sharp voice cried, and Lily twisted around and beamed.

"Tuney!" she said brightly, because her older sister Petunia was striding across the gravel towards her. Lily's smile faded when she saw how severe the blonde girl looked.

"What're you doing here?" Petunia sneered.

Lily frowned. "Waiting for Sev."

Petunia scowled darkly. "Not that Snape boy again? Lily, I've told you a million times, stop hanging round with him!"

"Listen, Petunia," Lily growled, bristling, "Severus is my best friend in the whole world; I wouldn't trade him for anything."

"Have it your way," Petunia sniffed. Suddenly, her expression turned into a knowing, relishing leer. "_Wait,_" she said, "don't tell me."

"Don't tell you what?" Lily asked, puzzled.

Petunia's eyes sparkled. "You fancy him, don't you? Oh, that's rich. Lily and the poor freak from Spinner's End -"

"_Don't_," Lily said fiercely, jumping off the swing and leaning close to her sister. "Don't you dare, Petunia." She wanted nothing more than to hex the older girl across the playground, but her wand was two miles away stowed in her trunk under her bed. While Petunia's eyes were frightened by Lily's sudden outburst, they still danced with a sort of teasing light.

"Look at that, you're blushing!" she said, "You_ do_ fancy him!"

"Leave!" Lily snarled, quite a bit louder than she had meant to. For a moment both sisters paused, raising their eyebrows slightly at the cry echoing around the neighbourhood.

Finally, Petunia seemed to get some sense and took a few steps backwards. "Fine, I'll leave," she said icily, "but I hope you remember that once, a long time ago, _I_ was your best friend. And you've gone and left me for a boy who can't even match his clothes up -"

"Tuney, just go!" Lily cried, her eyes stinging with tears. Petunia scowled for a moment, her own eyes wet, before turning on her heel and running for home.

Lily watched her go and kicked the gravel bitterly. She couldn't wait until Severus finally arrived – he always had a way of comforting her when no-one else could. The thought of him holding her close and kissing the top of her head made a tiny, shy smile spread across her face. With a start, she recalled her sister's words. _Oh, Merlin, maybe I _do_ fancy Sev… _Now that she thought about it, she really rather liked his long black hair, his hooked nose and dark onyx eyes. She liked the way his smell – a sort of inky, woodsy, marshy scent – wrapped around her when they hugged, she liked the way his low laugh was so infectious… _Damn it, Lily, why didn't you realize all this before?_

She was too busy coming to this new, alarming, yet slightly thrilling realization to notice the footsteps behind her. It wasn't until he said her name that she turned, breaking into a broad grin. "Hallo, Sev," she said happily.

"'lo, Lily," Severus replied with a faint smile, though his eyes were troubled. Lily noticed and furrowed her brow, moving closer to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing that he was standing slightly sideways so that the right side of his face wasn't visible. He didn't have to reply for her to know what had happened, and her eyes filled with tears. "Sev," she pleaded, and with a sigh of defeat Severus turned so she could see the purplish bruising covering his entire right cheek and the swelling eye. Lily gasped, her heart wrenching, and pulled Severus into a hug.

He made a tiny sound of protest and she released her hold immediately. "I… sorry, my… my back…" he choked, grimacing. Lily could tell that he was trying hard not to show just how much pain he was in.

"Here – sit down, sit on the swing," she said urgently, taking Severus's hand. He shook his head.

"No, let's go to our place, somewhere we can't be found."

'_Somewhere he can't find me', he means,_ Lily thought angrily, but carefully helped Severus across the playground, through some bushes and into a little clearing of trees in a scrap of forest. She gingerly lowered him to sit on the grass and dropped down beside him, full of sympathy and anger and sadness all at once.

After a moment, Lily reached out and touched his shoulder lightly. "Severus?" she said in a tiny voice, and that seemed to be all it took for him to break down completely. He began to cry – not very hard, no, Severus Snape was not one to sob, but tears began to stream steadily down his cheeks and he shook silently. "Oh, god, Sev, I'm so sorry," Lily cried, hugging him as tight as she dared, feeling tears of her own spill over.

"He's a monster," Severus spat, "that's all he is, is a drunken monster! I hate him, Lily, really I do."

"I hate him too," Lily admitted. "One day, once we're graduated and we're allowed to do magic, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to find him and give him hell for everything he's done to you. And maybe I'll turn him into a newt." Severus gave a tiny, reluctant sort of laugh. Encouraged, Lily ploughed on, "a newt if I'm feeling merciful. If I'm not, well, you'll have a hog for a father."

Severus laughed again. "He's already a hog," he reminded her, "and that Muggle bastard will never be my father."

Lily pursed her lips. Even if the Muggle in question was Severus's violent, abusive father, she didn't like him talking about Muggles in such a way. It only reminded her of what other Slytherins – Lucius Malfoy, for one – were getting themselves into, and the last thing she wanted was for her best friend to find himself tangled into the same mess.

"Hey Sev, you don't think the same as your house mates, do you?" she asked worriedly. Severus looked up at her.

"What d'you mean?"

"You know, like, you think that Muggles are filth, and that only pure-bloods are important…" she paused, bracing herself, "or that I'm a Mud-"

"No," Severus said quickly, wincing slightly. "No, Lily, I don't. I think that my father is filth, but I know that some Muggles are lovely, like your parents… and I'd never ever call you that name. I don't even think it."

"You swear?" Lily said warily.

"I swear on my life," Severus said, nodding. Lily broke into a relieved grin and threw her arms around him. He flinched slightly but relaxed into her hug after a moment.

With her face in his hair and his arms around her, Lily could feel her pulse quickening. Part of her wanted to panic, but a bigger part liked the way her heart beat furiously against her ribs and the faint blush creeping up her cheeks. She leaned back from the hug, searching his face eagerly. Then, after a fraction of a second's hesitation, she leaned forwards and placed a kiss near his lips, brushing lightly against the ugly bruising.

"Come on then, let's get you to my house. Mum can fix you up…" _like she always does, _she wanted to add, but she kept quiet. Carefully she helped Severus to his feet and they picked their way out of the forest, with Severus's arm around Lily's shoulder and hers supporting him around the waist.

"Thank you," Severus said quietly once they had gone a short distance. "I don't know why you put up with me and everything, but…"

Lily laughed lightly. "I 'put up' with you because I love you, Sev. That's what friends are for, right?"

He gave her a weak smile. "Yeah, I suppose. I love you too, Lily."

They stopped on the sidewalk, staring at one another. A sudden surge of nerve shot through Lily and she leaned forwards again, this time kissing him right on the mouth. They broke apart a moment later and he gave her a dazed look, half-grinning. She bit her lip and smiled shyly back, knowing full well that her face was bright red.

"Mum," Lily said, reminding both Severus and herself. "She's going to go mad when she sees you."

"As usual," Severus muttered, a hint of bitterness creeping back into his voice. Lily twisted her lips in a sympathetic little smile.

"Come on, it'll be over soon," she encouraged, starting them moving again. Severus nodded reluctantly and together they made their way back to the Evans's house.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yet another weak ending. I really am rubbish at those. OH WELL. <strong>_

_**But I told you I hadn't given up, see? I've got the same old excuses - school, life, and now it's almost NaNoWriMo! So yeah. Anyway. Not too terrible, I hope?**_

_**Oh. And 10 points to the house of whoever spots a reference to a certain musical! I think I'll slip one in every drabble. It's fun. Did I mention I'm seeing the SPACE Tour in Toronto? 'cause I am. It's going to be totally awesome.**_

_**ANYWAY I will shut up now. Toodles.**_


	22. Stroke of Midnight

_**I haven't forgotten you. This takes place in Magic Alternate Universe Land, which is basically the world of my real fanfiction, except Lily and Sev aren't together just yet.**_

_**And, without further ado, HAPPY CHRISTMAS, LOVELY READERS!**_

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><p>As promised, Lily turned up on Severus's doorstep at half past seven, beaming, bundled in her Gryffindor scarf and a long overcoat. Severus couldn't help but smile thinly, stepping out of the house and closing the door quickly to muffle his father's drunken shout and the sound of breaking glass. "Let's get out of here," he said, nodding in the direction of Lily's house. She nodded, her smile dropping, but didn't dwell on the scene she knew was playing out in the dingy house.<p>

They shuffled down the street, hunched against the cold, walking close enough so that their gloved hands brushed against each other even though neither went the extra mile to grasp the other's. "It's a miracle mum's letting us do this," Lily commented after a while, not liking the silence that had ballooned between them. "All of us packed into the one room and she's not even home, it's going to be a disaster."

"You know your mum, she'll let you because she figures you'll be able to fix all the windows, furniture and precious family heirlooms Potter breaks with magic," Severus said, smirking, and Lily laughed. By the time they reached the Evans's house they were talking and joking as usual.

"About time, we've been freezing our bollocks off out here," James growled, straightening up from where he had been leaning against the garage. The other Marauders, along with Mary and Dorcas, were all there as well.

Lily rolled her eyes, taking the spare key from the post box and unlocking the front door. "I did say not to come until eight."

James didn't answer.

"The loo is down the hall and to your right, feel free to raid the kitchen -" at this, Sirius scampered off "- and stay the hell out of my bedroom," Lily rattled off, "Other than that, have fun - oh, and _no magic!"_

"It's not a proper New Year's Eve without magic," Sirius protested, returning from the kitchen with a mouthful of what looked like yesterday's leftover chicken.

"Somehow I think a visit from the Ministry would dampen the holiday spirit, don't you?" Mary said dryly, flopping onto the couch and snatching a pack of crisps from the coffee table.

It wasn't long before the others arrived - Frank Longbottom with Alice on his arm, Marlene McKinnon, Emmaline Vance, and Sirius's brother Regulus, the only other Slytherin besides Severus. Remus got the radio playing and most of the boys crowded around the television to watch a football match, James constantly asking what the point was of a sport that didn't even use brooms.

"Sev?" Severus turned away from a conversation with Regulus, only to find Lily standing there looking nervous. "Come here a second." She led him out of the living room, away from the main party, out into the hall. With a shy smile she pulled a rectangle wrapped in shiny green paper from behind her back. "Before you protest, because I know you're going to - just don't. Happy late Christmas, Sev."

Severus took the package, and under Lily's encouraging gaze he unwrapped it carefully. Inside he found a dark leather book. Lily was still beaming, so he let the cover fall open. His eyes widened as he flipped through the book; every page was full of photographs of either him, Lily or both of them, grinning and waving up at him. There was a mix of Muggle and wizarding photos - Lily frozen in the air, jumping off a swing with her face split into a broad grin, both of them roaring with silent laughter in the Evans's backyard.

"It's not a whole lot, I just thought it was kind of nice," Lily mumbled bashfully, and before she could say any more Severus had her in a tight hug.

"It's brilliant, Lils, thank you," he said sincerely. Lily grinned.

The party wore on, and after a while Lily found herself sprawled in the living room with the others. Sirius had gotten his hands on an empty Butterbeer bottle and Marry had insisted on playing spin the bottle. Lily watched them kiss two by two - it wasn't too big of a deal, seeing as most of them were paired up already, but every now and again Regulus would snog Marlene, or Peter would have to kiss Emmaline (much to Dorcas's dismay) and everyone would roar with laughter.

"Your turn!" Alice said brightly, tossing the bottle into Lily's lap. She pulled a face.

"Absolutely not, I'm not having my first kiss in a game of spin-the-bottle," she insisted, smirking and passing the bottle off to Remus. She and Severus shared a sideways look - it was a lie, it wouldn't be her first kiss. She could vividly remember the day she and Severus had kissed, hidden away in the shelves of Flourish and Blott's. They were about to start their fourth year, and they were curious - it was awkward and quick, leaving them both blushing like mad afterwards, but Lily would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it, if only a little bit.

She reached across to a jar full of candy canes on the side table, taking one and sucking on it thoughtfully as she watched the spin-the-bottle game deteriorate into a game of truth-or-dare. Severus was paying no attention to the game; instead his dark eyes were fixed firmly on Lily. Absently he wondered if she would taste like mint if he kissed her then, right in front of everyone. He shook himself, remembering that she would probably never speak to him again if he did, never mind the fact that the way she was eating her candy cane was overwhelming enough, thank you very much. Her eyes flicked over to him and she gave him a small smile, nodding towards the others and miming a rapidly-speaking mouth with her hand. He smirked in agreement and jerked his head upwards, to where he knew Lily's bedroom was right above, wanting to escape the mindless chatter around them. Her eyes shone with mirth and she raised a questioning eyebrow dramatically. He shook his head, grinning, and it wasn't until then that he realized the others had stopped.

"That is _really_ freaky, you just had an entire conversation and your mouths didn't move once," Alice marvelled.

"You've got us, we can read each other's minds," Lily said, pretending to grimace with worry.

"For example, right now Lily knows how hungry I am and how much I would love a candy cane of my own," Severus said smoothly.

Lily laughed and broke off the end of her own, throwing it at Severus as hard as she could. "And right now Severus knows that I think he's a right git for stealing my food."

Marlene giggled. "Honestly, could you two please just snog and get married and live happily ever after? It's killing us."

Both Lily and Severus pulled faces, but neither could hide the faint blush that crept into their cheeks once they had looked away from one another.

"Oi, what time is it?" James said suddenly, springing up.

"Eleven fifty-eight," Mary reported with a grin, and immediately everyone perked up, their attention fixed firmly on the grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

"Sixty seconds," Sirius said happily.

Lily caught sight of Alice and Frank, closely intertwined on the one-person armchair. "You aren't supposed to kiss until the new year," she reminded them. Frank made an indifferent grunt, his mouth never leaving his girlfriend's.

"Forty-five seconds," James announced.

Lily couldn't help but glance back over at her snogging friends, feeling a hint of jealousy. James and Mary were standing close together now, looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

"Thirty," Regulus chirped.

"Oh, sod it," Peter growled, and he grabbed Dorcas by the shoulders and kissed her hard. Her eyebrows shot up but she kissed him back nevertheless - _finally_, Lily thought,_ she's only been gushing over him for the past year and a half._

"Twenty."

Between Mary and James, Alice and Frank, Peter and Dorcas and the way Marlene and Sirius were eyeing each other, Severus was starting to feel sick. He looked over at Lily, who had her lips pressed together firmly and was watching the couples with nothing short of pure envy in her green eyes. He frowned, and for a wild moment he considered kissing her just to put her out of her misery - and his. She could feel his eyes on her and met his gaze, her face relaxing into an expression of mild surprise as she recognized a hint of desire in his features.

"Ten!"

"Sev?" she asked incredulously. He threw his guard up as quickly as possible, trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably. His eyes flicked away to watch the clock.

"Seven!" Emmaline said enthusiastically.

"Severus, look at me," Lily said softly, not daring to believe what she had seen. Ever so slowly, Severus's head turned, and there it was again. _There was no use hiding it_, he decided, and now his emotions were plain on his face for the first time in the eight years she had known him. And what she saw thrilled her.

"_Three_!"

"Sev."

"_Two_!"

"Lily," Severus replied, his voice low.

"_One_!"

Lily rose up on her toes and pressed her lips against his as Regulus and Marlene chorused, "Happy new year!" The other couples broke apart, wishing each other the same around the room, but the expressions were cut short when nine pairs of eyes fell on Lily and Severus. He kissed her back, his heart exploding with joy in his chest, his arms snaking around her waist and holding her close. She did taste like mint, just the way he thought she would. She brought a hand up to his hair, waves of relief washing over her at the fact that he hadn't pulled away immediately.

"I knew it," Mary whispered.

"Don't be daft, everyone knew it except for them," Remus replied, smiling.

Severus finally pulled away after they began to sway on the spot. Lily only had eyes for him, a beam splitting across her face. "Hi," she said, because as far as she was concerned it was an entirely new Severus Snape standing before her with that punch-drunk grin and the swollen lips.

"Hi," he replied.

Dorcas muffled a giggle behind her hand. Suddenly noticing that they weren't alone, Lily blushed a brilliant shade of red, making the others laugh out loud. Severus couldn't take it any longer - she had kissed him, and he knew she meant it, and he was positive he didn't want to do anything else for the rest of his life, so he seized her burning face and kissed her again. Sirius wolf-whistled.

The rest of the party dwindled away, Lily and Severus sharing shy smiles. No-one stayed much longer, it was getting to be late and Sirius had eaten the rest of the food, in any case. Emmaline was the last to go, giving Lily a significant look before Disapparating. Lily closed the door behind her and leaned up against it, studying Severus.

"Happy new year," she offered, still feeling light-headed from the sudden change in events. Severus beamed and strode closer, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I love you," he said, the words falling from his lips effortlessly.

"I love you too," she replied, pulling his mouth to hers again. The sound of a car door slamming broke them apart - Lily's parents were home. She sighed in disappointment, and then started, remembering the mess in the living room. Quickly they scrambled to set the room right again, and by the time her parents stumbled in, brushing the snow off their coats, Lily and Severus were sitting in the relatively clean room, chatting animatedly.

"How was your night, did anything exciting happen? What did we miss?" Mrs. Evans asked interestedly.

They shared a look._ Yes, mum, apparently I'm in love with my best friend and he's in love with me and everything is absolutely fantastic, and if I had it my way you'd still be on the road and we'd be snogging each other's brains out._

_Yes, Mrs. Evans, your daughter and I are in love and if I had it my way__you'd be far, far away and I would never leave her side as long as I lived._

"Nothing," Lily said innocently.

"Not unless you count Sirius Black the food vacuum," Severus agreed with a smirk.

Mrs. Evans frowned. "Are you feeling alright, Lily? You look flushed, you're all red," she said, sounding concerned.

Lily smiled to herself. "Trust me, mum, I'm feeling absolutely brilliant."

* * *

><p><em><strong>HAPPY HAPPY CHRISTMAS YAY :3<strong>_

_**or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate...**_


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